Thursday, May 31, 2012

*Click*

I hated pink for a very long time. Then I grew up. How about you?

Recommended Rockin'

Three reasons you should listen to this:

1) Because it's funny and awesome.
2) ....... AND YOU JERK IT OUT.
3) "Shut up hush your mouth can't you hear you talk too loud."

And then there was some suspected Jugo Juice injustice

On Tuesday I failed to bring a lunch to work, as did The Prince. We work across the street from each other now so we often have lunch together (awww) OR, more frequently, I make The Prince go and retrieve my lunch. Go ahead, act surprised, whatever. We both know that you knew that's how it was going to be. NO SHAME.

Anywho, when I sent my investigative "what are you getting for lunch" text, I was told that The Prince was thinking Subway. I, on the other hand, was thinking a Peanut Butter smoothie.

I made a compelling case for Jugo Juice, pointing out that they have some kind of meat-filled chicken-y flat-bread grilled sandwich thing-a-ma-bob that The Prince likes. He went for it.

About thirty minutes later, The Prince strolls into my office. I was in the middle of doing some actual work (I say "actual work" only because it's such a rarity) and I guess I was a little zoned out.

The Prince set this on my desk:


He then explained, very quickly: "They only filled it half way, I have no idea what they were doing, I was in such a rush though I just took it and left, I gotta go, see you tonight."

So, of course, my reaction was: "What? What do you mean they only filled it half way? Did they GIVE YOU A DISCOUNT?"

I suppose the severity of my reaction to this suspected Jugo Juice injustice broke The Prince's commitment to the part he was playing. I saw the corner of his little shithead grin come out and it dawned on me what had actually happened.

The fucker drank over half of my smoothie in the time it took to drive from Jugo Juice to my office.

Seriously guys, my case for disowning him just keeps growing.

Regards,





P.S.- Yesterday's Disney answers: 1) Snow White, 2) Oliver & Company, 3) Cinderella. No one guessed the Oliver one correctly.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

*Click*

I always thought these things sucked. Did you?

Recommended Rockin'

Three reasons you should listen to this:

1) It gives me chills.
2) If you need a song to own at an open mic, this is probably it.
3) Adorable lyrics.

Guess the Disney Movie #2

It's time for round two of this game!

I once mentioned a "Guess the Disney Movie" game that The Prince and I play in this post and apparently other people wanted to play too, so here you go. Guess away. Oh and NO GOOGLING.

I will post the answers around the same time tomorrow when I feel like you've all suffered enough.


1) In this Disney movie, coming home to a clean house isn't seen as a good thing- it causes suspicion.

2) In this Disney movie there is a character deserving of the title “biggest drama queen EVER”, mostly because she is so vain and spoiled. This character is voiced by a prominent singer, actress, and comedian.

3) In this Disney movie, one of the characters gets stuck in a dress.

Leave your guesses in the comments!

With a wish upon a star,

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

*Click*

What's eating you, little leaf?

Jen from Crafty Home Improvement Misadventures asked me to link up for her first "Color Your World" post featuring olive green. I searched back far enough to find a picture with a little olive green in it, and since this pretty much required zero effort on my part, here goes:


Link up with Jen for her fun- I love her because she actually DOES all the cool things she sees on Pinterest. 

Recommended Rockin'

Three reasons you should listen to this:

1) The end of it will blow your mind.
2) It's cheeky. Oh, and The Prince LOVES THIS ONE.
3) Ingrid, you darling songstress, you.

A story about some diamond earrings

I have a pair of diamond studs. My mom gave them to me one day when I was rifling through one of her drawers. I pulled out the little blue velvet box and opened it.

Me: "Mom, I've never seen you wear these. In fact, I don't think I've ever seen these before at all."

My mom: "Oh! THOSE. You can have those."

Me: "You're just giving me diamonds like it's no big thing? Seriously?"

My mom: "Well, okay. Here's the story. I CAN'T wear those."

Me: "Do they hurt your ears or something? Because then I don't want them either."

My mom: "No, silly, they're gold. They don't hurt my ears. I just don't want them, I've never worn them so you can have them."

Me: "Moommmm, I smell a much bigger storrrryyyy."

My mom: "Okay, fine. Is your dad outside right now? Yes? Okay. Shortly after your dad and I started dating, this guy I used to know showed up at my apartment. He told me he had brought me a present. I was pretty surprised because I had never dated this guy, but whatever. He gave me those diamonds and I freaked out. I told him I couldn't accept them, they were inappropriate, the whole bit. I had no idea he even LIKED ME. In fact, one of my good friends was practically in love with the guy, so I felt really badly. I guess he was pretty upset, so he left. Oh, and he was from New Jersey or somewhere, so it wasn't like I saw him often, we had only met maybe 3 or 4 times. Anyways, he left, and a few hours later I noticed the earrings were sitting on my table in the box. I don't think I ever talked to him again, just saw him at some weddings and stuff. I think his name was Eric."

Me: "MOM."

My mom: "What?! What was I supposed to do?! I was dating your dad at the time! I hid them in a drawer. You just found them. Take them. Don't tell your dad ANY OF THIS."

And that's how I came to own my first pair of diamond earrings. I wear them all the time and laugh whenever I think of where they came from. Thanks, Eric!

Cheers,

Monday, May 28, 2012

*Click*

I was never good at these. Were you one of the monkey-like children I envied?

Recommended Rockin'

Three reasons you should listen to this:

1) On my first official date with The Prince, I played this song in this parents' SUV probably close to 18 times because I had never heard it before and when I did I LOVED IT. Sometimes I think that maybe my love for this song made me have a good time that night and is therefore responsible for my current relationship with said Prince.
2) Kidding.
3) Maybe.

And then I won

The Prince and I played a game of Carcassonne on Saturday night. The Prince beat me… by a lot.

The Prince is an ugly loser- but believe me, he’s an even uglier winner.

I am making no comments in regard to the ugliness of my own behavior in such situations. You will shortly see why.

The game was over. The Prince tallied up the score. He was all “Okay, so I have about 50 more points than you do. HA.”

Me: “Sweet! I won!”

The Prince: “You didn’t win, I just told you I beat you. I just kicked your ass at this game that you begged me to play with you.”

Me: “Nope. I won.”

The Prince: “You didn’t win! I won!”

Me: “You’re cute. I’m really sorry about your loss, but honestly, I won.”

I continued to insist that I won and The Prince got more and more annoyed with me. He was all “Do you have any idea how angering it is to listen to you saying you won when you know you didn’t? You’re just trying to ruin my victory.”

Me: “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I think you played pretty well. You gave it a good try. I won, though, and that’s just how it is.”

I, of course, thought this was HILARIOUS. Every few moments while sitting next to each other on the couch I would whisper: “I won.”

The end result?

Me screaming and trying to get away from The Prince once he figured out that the way to force me into admitting defeat was to tickle me and/or lick me on the face. I HATE SPIT. IT’S SO GROSS. He was trying to lick my face! Like a dog! Filthy!


Of course, every time I managed to sneak away from his death grip, I would squeak out an “I won!” and start the battle all over again.

BECAUSE I WON.

Happy Monday,

Sunday, May 27, 2012

*Click*

See that wooded area? That's why I want to raise my future children on a farm.

Recommended Rockin'

Three reasons you should listen to this:

1) A hot teacher at my high school once did a cover of this at an open mic and made every girl in the auditorium want to make his wife disappear.
2) See 1.
3) See 1.

*Click*


Saturday, May 26, 2012

*Click*

See that one little curly piece? That's what I like about this. That and the streetlamp in the background.

Recommended Rockin'

Three reasons you should listen to this:

1) It's Matthew Good and he is good indeed.
2) I walked around angrily singing all the lyrics to this for a span of a few weeks in my second year of university shortly after being dumped.
3) "Everyone's gotta be something. Me, I'm loaded... It's all I ever wanted to be, shock me again and I'll say anything you want me to, anything you want me to, anything you want me to, anything you want."

The Princess and the Goblin and a supposed Magic Thread

This was written in June of 2011, when I still lived at my parent's house in Ontario.

I’m not sure if any of you are familiar with the animated non-classic The Princess and the Goblin? No matter, because what I’m about to tell you will be hilarious anyhow. 

This is a movie that my brother and I used to watch on VHS back in the day. I haven’t watched it in over 10 years, but for some reason this movie came into my mind earlier this week while I was sort of half-asleep, so last night I decided I was going to watch it. My mom and dad were leaving for the evening, so when they left my dad set up the VCR for me, my mom gave my brother some Doritos and me a freezie, and it was fucking 1996 all over again minus a bitchy babysitter. I wasn’t expecting my brother to watch the movie with me, but I guess the nostalgia lured him in. 


Anyways, we watch the movie, mostly laughing at how bad it is the whole time. A key part of the plot is that the princess in the movie is given a “magic thread” from her dead and ghostly grandmother that is supposed to always be there, attached to a ring on her finger, to lead her to safety whenever she needs it. 

So this bitch goes strolling through mines filled with goblins like it’s no big thing, and she’s having a sweet old time following this magical piece of string that always keeps her safe. Near the end of the movie, there’s a tense scene where the goblins have flooded her castle and she’s being swept away by rushing water that leads up to a waterfall (that just appears out of no-fucking-where, by the way). 

Anyway: girl, waterfall, imminent death, right? So she’s left screaming for her little peasant boyfriend to save her as she floats by where he is, on a rock. I’m watching this scene, and right as she’s slipping past the point of safety, my brother bursts out with “WHERE’S YOUR MAGIC THREAD NOW, BITCH?!?!?!” Which was hilarious, yes, but also a really, really valid point. What the? The THREAD WAS SUPPOSED TO ALWAYS BE THERE. She winds up being fine (no thanks to the aforementioned “magic” thread whose magic I now doubt) and the movie ends. 

The credits roll. My brother looks over at me with one eye brow raised: “I fucking missed THUNDERCATS for that shit. Unbelievable!” and then storms up the stairs to go to bed. 

I miss my little brother,
 

Friday, May 25, 2012

*Click*

Darling plant, you have a very large hole in your leaf that appears to be your heart. Are you feeling okay?

Recommended Rockin'

Three reasons you should listen to this:

1) I like this guy's voice and you probably will too.
2) The meaning is sweet!
3) This is great band in general. The Prince and I picked this album up during a random drive and fell in love with the whole entire thing.

"I'm pretty sure that's a strip club."

A conversation that the two of us had last night while driving around. We were looking for a Value Village because I wanted to buy some funky fine-bone china on the cheap.

Me: “THERE. That’s Hollywoood road. That’s the road it’s on. Turn here.”

The Prince: “No, I think it’s farther up. I’m pretty sure.”

Me: “Neither of us has been to this part of Kelowna before.”

The Prince: “I was here once.”

Me: “Oh joy, the directionally challenged half of this couple WAS HERE ONCE. We’re totally effed.”

A few minutes of driving go by…

Me: “We are not even in Kelowna anymore, are we?”

The Prince: “I’m… I’m not sure… yeah, I don’t know.”

Me: “Okay, so just turn around right there. That’s a perfect spot. We will go back the way we came.”

The Prince: “No, let’s just go that way a little more…”

Me: “NO. Turn around. I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR YOUR MAN ADVENTURE RIGHT NOW, VALUE VILLAGE CLOSES SOON.”

I added the text, original picture [via]

After he turned around, we got closer to the original road. Then, out of nowhere:

The Prince: “OOOOOH, this is highway 33. I know highway 33. We can just stay on this, it will get us there.”

Me: “Noooooo, it’s BACK THERE. WHY DON’T YOU BELIEVE ME? I am always right about these things. You could not even point toward our apartment right now if you tried.”

The Prince: “It’s okay! I know where I am!”

Me: “You have NEVER been on this highway before. It only sounds familiar because you spent copious hours of the last year waiting at bus stops, some of which had signs for the highway 33 bus THAT YOU NEVER TOOK.”

The Prince: “Oh. Is that it? Shit. It did sound familiar, though. Hey, what’s that place? The Cadillac Lounge. That’s weird.”

Me: “I’m pretty sure that’s a strip club.”

The Prince: “I told you I knew exactly where I was going.”

Happy Friday everyone,

Thursday, May 24, 2012

*Click*

When I took this picture, I turned to The Prince and informed him that I was fucking awesome.

Recommended Rockin'

Three reasons you should listen to this:

1) The '90s are alive and well.
2) I love this band with all my heart and you should, too.
3) Just listen, trust me. I always find myself smiling sooo big at the end. It's beautiful.

Mr. Noodles chicken soup: no chicken

One time when I was sick while at university, a good friend came over with a sweet little care package for me. She brought me tea, medicine, and Mr. Noodles Chicken Soup. While I appreciated her kind gesture, I was a little bit like:

“Bitch please. How long have we been friends? What, exactly, are you doing bringing me chicken soup when you know I don’t eat meat?”

It was then that she informed me, which much excitement, that she had read the ingredients to check and found that there was actually no chicken in the so-called chicken soup.

Iiiiiiiinteresting. [via]
 I rejoiced, ate my Styrofoam cup full of sodium and felt much better.

Fast forward to last week when I had no lunch to eat at work and it was pouring rain, so walking very far to get food was totally out of my gameplan. I decided I’d walk to the convenience store beside our building and check out their swag.

I walked in, saw that they had Mr. Noodles Chicken Soup cups for a dollar, bought one and came back to the lunch room. While it was cooking, I attempted to make small talk with a co-worker.

I was all, “Did you know that this chicken soup has no chicken in it? Totally makes my day.”

This woman (who knows I am vegetarian thanks to work barbeques) looked at me like I was DISGUSTING, and said: “Um, yes. Obviously. Not only is there no chicken in it, there is literally NOTHING of nutritional value in that thing you’re about to eat.”

I shrugged, laughed, collected my soup and walked away, but in my HEAD, things were more along the lines of:

“Oh, well LOOK AT YOU with your TACO TIME-SUPPLIED FEAST. I am going to eat my THING and I’m going to fucking LOVE IT and every gram of sodium it pumps through my veins. I told you that this one-dollar cup of soup was MAKING MY DAY and you decided the appropriate course of action was to SHIT ALL OVER MY HAPPINESS. I hope you get taco sauce on your shirt, which, by the way, is fucking heinous.”

Honestly. These women don’t like my hair; they don’t like my lunch choices… yawn. I’m more than ten years younger than all of them, so as far as I’m concerned they can SUCK IT.

Are the people you work with this terrible? Tell me stories.

Forever in favour of soup cups,

The Disney Movie answers from yesterday's pop quiz

 Jumping right in:

1) In this Disney movie, there is a nervous character who tries to use a part of his body to solve the problems of the group. The group doubts him, but his plan ends up working… until he nervously messes everything up again.

This one is The Rescuers Down Under, my all-time favourite Disney movie, and NO ONE GUESSED THIS ONE CORRECTLY. NO ONE. FOR SHAME.

The clues were a reference to one of the greatest Disney Characters of all time, Frank the lizard. The scene below shows his introduction. The scene I referenced comes shortly after this: Frank tires to use his tail to jimmy the cage lock, which apparently he has tried before, but then it actually does open the lock... he tries to go get the keys... until Joanna the Goanna (MY FAVOURITE CHARACTER EVER) hears him and hilarity ensues, ending with Frank locking himself back into his own cage. So close, buddy, so close.

The best part of this clip is when the Koala describes "the way out", as in what commodities the captured animals will leave their prison as. Frank is going to go as a "lovely ladies' purse", much to his own horror. Watch this clip and then GO WATCH THIS MOVIE AND REPORT BACK TO ME.



2) In this Disney movie, there are characters modeled after The Beatles.

This is The Jungle Book. The Beatles were actually supposed to voice the vultures themselves, but backed out at the last second. They're still pretty awesome.

The Jungle Book vultures, aka The Beatles. [via]

3) In this Disney movie, there is a very scary fish, a character named after an ailment, a character named after a very famous scientist, and an extremely hungry wolf.

Only two commenters got this one! It's The Sword in the Stone, which is an incredible movie with a disappointing ending. It's still one of my favourites. The Prince complains about its "non-ending" every time I bring it up.

Here are where the clues came from:

The very scary fish (a Pike) that tries to eat Merlin and Wart:

[via]

The character named after an ailment is the protagonist, Wart. The character named after a very famous scientist is Merlin's owl, Archimedes:


And then there's my mom's favourite Disney Character of all time, the very hungry wolf:

[via]

There you go, guys. I'll do another Disney guessing game next week. FYI I'll be posting my usual content-type post in about an hour or so.

Still smiling at the Frank video,





Wednesday, May 23, 2012

*Click*

I have a crush on this picture.

Recommended Rockin'

Three reasons you should listen to this:

1) Happiness.
2) Brilliantly meaningful lyrics.
3) These are the days when anything goes.

Guess the Disney Movie!

Hey, Erin. ERIN. I DID A GUESS THE DISNEY MOVIE POST. Just for YOU.

Well, not entirely, but Erin from Shades of Gray and a Pinch of Pink did remind me to do this post.

I once mentioned a "Guess the Disney Movie" game that The Prince and I play in this post and apparently other people wanted to play too, so here you go. Guess away. Oh and NO GOOGLING, obviously... though I don't think that will be possible for at least one of them. These aren't exactly easy- they're much harder than I would make them for The Prince. Ha.

I will post the answers around the same time tomorrow when my boss is once again not looking at me. 

 
1) In this Disney movie, there is a nervous character who tries to use a part of his body to solve the problems of the group. The group doubts him, but his plan ends up working… until he nervously messes everything up again.

2) In this Disney movie, there are characters modeled after The Beatles.

3) In this Disney movie, there is a very scary fish, a character named after an ailment, a character named after a very famous scientist, and an extremely hungry wolf.

Good luck with your guesses- leave them in the comments! Tell all your bloggy friends to come try it, too!

With a wish upon a star,

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

*Click*

What's your favourite season? Mine's autumn.

Recommended Rockin'

Three reasons you should listen to this:

1) Contrary to what you may have heard, this is Foster The People's best song.
2) Badass bass in the intro.
3) Lovely keys, too.

You have a SECRET CYST SOUL, ginger kid

A couple of months ago I talked about how The Prince has a small cyst on his back- it’s perfectly harmless, blah blah blah. I named the cyst, of course, and was a total shithead about it. Its name is Cystily. You can read all about it here.

Go read that post. I’m not kidding around. If you don’t read it, the rest of what I’m about to say is going to make a whooshing sound as it goes right over your pretty little head. Or maybe not, I’m just fucking with you. I tell lies sometimes.

ANYWAY, last night after eating awesome 7-layer vegetarian burritos and watching A Bug’s Life, The Prince cuddled up to me on the couch. I rubbed his back a little in an attempt to be what some people might call a good girlfriend. It was then that my fingers felt my old friend Cystily.

AND CYSTILY SEEMED TO BE BIGGER.

Me: “Sweetie? I think Cystily is growing.”

The Prince: “Shhh. No he’s not.”

Me: “No really, remember how I used to sing “He’s Cystily and he’s the size of a pea”? Well, now he’s about the size of a LOONIE.”


The Prince: “You are so full of it. The tumor is not any bigger; you just haven’t touched it in a while.”

Me: “Hey! You can’t call him “the tumor” when he’s RIGHT HERE. Cystilty really doesn’t like that derogatory term. He thinks it’s rude, and frankly I have to agree.”

The Prince: “I’m going to bed.”

Once we were both in bed, I made a new suggestion:

Me: “Really though, *reaches over, feels cyst* don’t you think this new growth should be noted? I mean, maybe it’s a sign. Or maybe it’s your long lost twin, or maybe…”

The Prince: “GO TO SLEEP, KITTEN.”

Me: “That wasn’t very nice. I’m talking about your HEALTH….. WAIT. WAIT WAIT WAIT. I’ve got it. What IF…”

The Prince: “This better be good. I’m THISCLOSE to shoving you onto the floor. And you know what? I won’t even throw your pillow down after you.”

Me: “MAYBE YOUR CYST IS YOUR SOUL.”

The Prince: “…What? You’re effed. Go to sleep. Now.”

Me: “NO NO NO, LISTEN. JUST LISTEN. You know, because gingers apparently don’t have souls, but you’re such a nice guy that your soul is growing as a cyst! It’s like flying under the radar- your cyst is a secret soul. Amazing.”

The Prince: “How much vodka did you put in that juice, exactly?”

Me: “I don’t remember. Doesn’t matter, either. You have a SECRET CYST SOUL, ginger kid.”

Hehehehehehhehehe,


Monday, May 21, 2012

*Click*

Excuse me are you poisonous? Thirsty, maybe? Is that a dog hair on you right there? Hmm.

Recommended Rockin'

Three reasons you should listen to this:

1) Because it's a requirement that you know all the words if you want to be my friend.
2) He sings about cats and you probably like cats, amirite?
3) Sha la la la la la la la la... unh-hunh, yeeeaahhh.

Sunday, May 20, 2012

*Click*

Remember how I told you I like flowers? I lied. I like leaves, bitchezzz. Diseased leaves. I'm that hardcore.

Recommended Rockin'

Three reasons you should listen to this:

1) It's mind-blowingly awesome.
2) LCD Soundsystem!
3) You will start listening and you'll want to write me an angry comment, being all "This blows" and then shit will get awesome and you'll be left wondering how the hell I'm always right.

*Click*

Easily one of the best things about summer, right?

Saturday, May 19, 2012

*Click*

Green is my favourite colour. What's yours?

Recommended Rockin'

Three reasons you should listen to this:

1) If you listen to it in a car, your arms will magically find their way out of your window, which will be wide open.
2) Singing "yeah yeah yeah" is always a great idea.
3) Summer.

For Your Interest: My Brother's Thundercats Obession: An Update

My sources inform me that my brother is still watching Thundercats, and apparently his habit has now transferred to his friends (like drugs, yes?). They watch the show together sometimes and then have in-depth conversations about the episodes and how “intense” they are. Sometimes they sing. Mostly they giggle like little girls and yell “THUNDERCATS, HOOOOOOOOOO!” 

For the record, all of these guys are in their twenties.

Cheetara from Thundercats [via]
Also, I’m 99.7 percent positive that the last time I saw my brother and my cat together I heard him whispering to my cat, calling her Cheetara. My cat’s name is Patches. 

Le sigh,

Friday, May 18, 2012

*Click*

You're a "weed" but you're a pretty weed so it's okay. I do not understand how any flowers are weeds. Except maybe dandelions. Those I might consider to be weeds. Weeds weeds weeds. Weed is a weird word. None of this is about and/or because of pot, I swear to you.

Recommended Rockin'

Three reasons you should listen to this:

1) Her voiiiccceeee.
2) Catchy, catchy, catchy.
3) It will make you feel like you should be riding a carousel.

Two things that The Prince thought were hilarious

We had a car last night, so we went for a drive. While in the car, listening to XM radio, a song came on the Alt Nation station. The Prince went "Hey, it's your song!"

Me: "It is one of my new favourites, but how do you know this is my song? I haven't told you about this one yet."

The Prince: "Well, you see, when the radio is set to Alt Nation I have about an 80% hit rate for 'Hey it's your song'. Actually, no, it's more like 98%."

Me: "Seriously? You're despicable."

The Prince: "Not really. You're just predictable."

AND THEN:

In a store, we saw this thing that was definitely a flower pot, but The Prince was all "If we had a puppy, I would make this his water bowl."

Me: "But that's a flower pot."

The Prince seemed to ignore me. He walked over and picked up a pretty decorative box with a lid. He pointed to the box. "Sweetie, what is this?"

Me: "A box."

He opened it and pointed inside the box.

The Prince: "And what is this?"

Me: "The inside of a box?"

The Prince: "Correct. And there, the inside of the box, is where you are thinking. I'm outside of it, using flower pots as water dishes."

Is anyone you know this ridiculous?

Happy Friday,

Thursday, May 17, 2012

*Click*

Pine cone, pavement, picture.

Recommended Rockin'

Three reasons you should listen to this:

1) Respect.
2) Faith.
3) Love.

And then, in a not-so subtle way, The Prince called me dysfunctional

Last night after work The Prince and I were strolling around Chapters. This is how trips to Chapters usually go with the two of us:

"Oh look! I want this!"
"No you don't."
"Oooohhhh look, cute little cards with birdies on them!"
"No."
"THEY HAVE A NEW CROCODILE JELLYCAT."
"Sweetie, no."
"My favourite author's book on the sale table? I don't think so. I need to buy this in protest."
"Nooooo."
"A new wine decanter! We need a new wine decanter, right?"
"No, the one we have is fine."
"Candles are thirty percent off. I need to stock up."
"NO. NO MORE CANDLES."
"BUT THEY'RE THE FANCY KIND."
"We are so leaving this store. I hate Chapters."

So, yeah. Last night, however, something a little different happened. We were walking through the journal section when The Prince went:

"Hey, you need this journal. It was made for you."
"Oh, that's so sweet of you. Let me see it."

This is the cover of the journal he was holding:


 I don't think he read the whole thing through. I DID. 

Yours, dysfunctions and all,