Friday, September 14, 2012

Some things I said this week

1) "Dad, I really think you need to reconsider the way you answer calls to your cell phone. 'Whaddaya want?' really isn't that welcoming. I get that maybe that's your intention, but come on, most of the time, you KNOW it's me calling, and asking me 'what I want' right off the bat is just insulting. In other news, I need that hundred bucks you promised me."

2) "I read an article about a woman going through labour today, and she said it was as if the bottom half of her body was ripping away from the top half. I know you want kids, but we may have to revisit that topic, okay?"

3) "My mom just sent me a text. She's sick right now and she's all upset because my dad is saying she's 'septic' and he won't go near her. Hilarious, no?"

4) "The best part of my day today was when I called Gina and then her cat started talking to her in the background, so I got to listen to her and her cat have a little conversation about the cat's dinner and how it was delayed."

5) "My brother just told me that he's interested in girls, but definitely not in girlfriends. That makes him a dick, right? My little brother is dick. Not surprised."

6) "Okay, I know it's a funny picture, but it's not funny enough for you to be HOWLING like this. Yes, it's a cat, and he's wearing a sombrero and a poncho. What do you mean that's not it? It's because his name is Kyle? Why is that so funny? Calm down! WHY IS THAT SO FUNNY? It's funny because Kyle is a ridiculous name for a cat?! You're insane."

Kyle in his sombrero and poncho [via]

7) "What's your Facebook password? I need to go into your account so I can post on Alex's wall about how awesome I am, but then because I'm in your account, it will look like it's YOU telling her how awesome I am. I know it's really not that funny, but it's late and I'm tired and I just want to shamelessly self-promote on someone else's Facebook wall, okay?"

8) "I have to pee, but I can't go alone. I need you to escort me to the bathroom and then guard the door. That last episode of Damages just totally fucked with my sense of safety. I'm positive there's a murderer hiding in this apartment as we speak. Who do we know that would try to have us killed? Anyone? Anyone?"

9) "Moooooommmmmm. The Prince is late AGAIN so I'm standing on the side of the street like a homeless person! I'm so angry! What do you mean he probably has a good reason for being late?!?! Why do you think I just called you, lady? I called you so you'd sympathize with my plight! I look like a bum standing here alone! BE ANGRY WITH ME."

10) "No no no no no no no no no no. NO. No. NOOOOO. We are NOT going camping this weekend. No we're not. No. No we're not. I am not going ANYWHERE that lacks toilets. NO. Remember the last time we went camping?! YOU'RE A BAD BOYFRIEND."

Happy Friday,

39 comments:

  1. I think it's funny because his fur coloring makes it look like he has a big white moustach, but that's just me. And Kyle it sort of a ridiculous name for a Mexican cat.

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    1. yeah, the fur moustache adds to the madness.

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  2. 2) Even though I'm on Team Management Strike and am Pro Team Ginger temporarily, I agree with you on this one. I would reconsider.
    6) Admit it. He was right. That's funny shit. Kyle? Sombrero? A Poncho? I was dying at my desk. Remind me to send you a picture of my cat Larry in a collar and tie. He's all business.
    7) I will give you my FB password once the strike is over. Promote all you want.
    8) Let him sleep. It's proven he needs his beauty sleep. Besides, you run the poor boy ragged sometimes and I'm betting this was one of those times. Besides, you're the man in this relationship, you'd be the better guard.
    9) He was probably late because he was busy planning he nightly good boyfriend duties. Cut him some slack.
    10) Go camping. This is strictly because I'm Team Ginger. Had you not caused this strike I would say not to go.
    You're welcome.

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    1. wow. best comment ever, even if you're cheering for the wrong team.

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  3. 1) "Dad, I really think you need to reconsider the way you answer calls to your cell phone. 'Whaddaya want?' really isn't that welcoming. I get that maybe that's your intention, but come on, most of the time, you KNOW it's me calling, and asking me 'what I want' right off the bat is just insulting. In other news, I need that hundred bucks you promised me."

    I love this. I think I'm gonna start answering the phone like that too. It's kinda rude, which makes it funny and awesome. Your dad is hilar.

    8) "I have to pee, but I can't go alone. I need you to escort me to the bathroom and then guard the door. That last episode of Damages just totally fucked with my sense of safety. I'm positive there's a murderer hiding in this apartment as we speak. Who do we know that would try to have us killed? Anyone? Anyone?"
    I totally felt the same way after watching Saw, the first one not the sequels. I kept chanting in my head, "i appreciate my life. please don't kidnap me."

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    1. ahha yeah, answering the phone in a rude way it totally fun.

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  4. When you said you needed an escort to the bathroom I thought maybe you were, I don't know, anywhere other than in your own apartment.
    Safety first.

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  5. I will say that Kyle does not look amused! Is he the one who was talking to Gina about his food?

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    1. hahaha he wasn't, but I bet Kyle would talk too.

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  6. Haha this is why I need to come visit. NO MORE CAMPING TRIPS. Except if I came along it'd be loads more fun. I put Reese's PBC on my s'mores.

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    1. if you can eliminate all camping from my life, I will share all my jewelry with you.

      AND I DON'T SHARE MY JEWELRY, TRUST ME.

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  7. The whole Kyle the Cat is hilarious to me, but for other unrelated reasons hahahaha! Happy Friday!

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  8. hahahahahahaha
    shit he already wants to go on another camping trip?
    Kyle the cat. Pretty funny

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  9. I'm in love with Kyle in the sombrero! Of course, Lola was a hula girl for Halloween last year, so I appreciate animals in funny costumes!

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  10. That cat is adorable. I also have dinner convos with my cats. Clearly they wear the pants in this relationship. And I HATE feeling homeless because I'm standing around waiting for someone to pick me up. It's sooooo awkward.

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    1. yes! waiting around is so awkward! I haaaate it.

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  11. the second I saw the cat's name was kyle. the picture got so funny! he also looks pissed which might be another reason it got funny, because I know a lot of pissy Kyles.

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  12. Your parents are hilarious. And the picture of the cat made my day while I was waiting on hold to try to talk to cardmember services about how they suck at life. So thank you.

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    1. they can be!

      card member services suuuuucccckkk.

      you're welcome :)

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  13. Yeah, I don't really want to be pregnant either. The whole process just sounds horrible to me.

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  14. haha, thanks for laugh after laugh! haha, i love that your brother is a dick. i actually LOL'd when i read that. hilar. love your posts!

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  15. Funny bunny!
    haha

    http://johced-ourjourneytoeverywhere.blogspot.com/
    xxx

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  16. hahaha! Hilarious! Love, good laugh to a Monday morning!

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  17. Pretty sure the folks in the hotel room next to mine think I am insane to be laughing in my room alone...

    Hugs!
    Kara
    @HeidiNae

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  18. hahahah great cat! sometimes i wish my cats would let me dress them :-)

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  19. Hahah I cracked up at each of these. I hate the way my husband answers the phone. "What?" Why can't you just say hello like a normal person? And a cat named Kyle? bahah. My cat hates when I try to dress her up. She obviously doesn't care about being cute.

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Thanks for commenting, lovely human.