Tuesday, September 18, 2012

And then the Prince brought me a salad

Yesterday, on the phone, shortly before lunchtime:

The Prince: "What kind of salad do you want for lunch today?"

Me: "I don't know. I'm not up for serious decision-making right now. You can just pick one and surprise me."

The Prince: "What about the kind with the almonds and the mandarins?"

Me: "No no no, not that kind. I'm really tired of mandarins right now."

The Prince: "So I can just PICK ONE, but I can't actually pick one because you're tired of mandarins."

Me: "Yep. Gotta go. See you soon."

Roughly 15 minutes later, The Prince shows up at my office:

The Prince: "Okay, so I got you a caesar salad."

Me: "Baby, caesar salad dressing has anchovies in it."

The Prince: "I know! Which is why I got you buttermilk ranch dressing instead! I know you do that sometimes- you get caesar salad with ranch dressing instead- so that's what I got you! I am the best!"

Me: "Ohhhh you're so cute. Thank you."

It was at this point that The Prince took my salad out of the bag and set it on my desk. I looked at the salad. Then I looked at The Prince. Then I looked back at the salad and then back up at The Prince.

Me: "Sweetie..."

The Prince: "Yes kitten?"

Me: "There's bacon all over this salad."

The Prince: "NOOOOO."

Me: "Yeah. That's bacon. Lots of bacon."

The Prince: "Well, it's probably not real bacon."

Me: "Seriously?"

The Prince: "You're not going to eat this, are you?"

Me: "Nope."

The Prince: "I amazes me that I forget about you being vegetarian so frequently."

Me: "Yep."

The Prince: "Can't you just pretend there's no meat? Or pretend they're the veggie bacon bits we have at home?"

Me: "Nope."

The Prince: "I hate vegetarians."

Me: "I know."

The Prince: "Well, here, have some apples, then. I'm going back to my work to eat TWO caesar salads, and I'm going to enjoy every bit of bacon on them."

Me: "Okay."

The Prince: "WHY AREN'T YOU BEING OUTRAGEOUS ABOUT THIS? I feel guilty because you're NOT getting angry. If you were angry, I'd be like 'well screw you, I tried', but now you're doing this whole 'It's okay sweetie, I know you tried' and THAT'S making ME angry."

Me: "I love you."

The Prince: "I LOVE YOU TOO, but I am leaving and I am not pleased."

With a grin,


33 comments:

  1. Oh how I missed your convo's with The Prince. Thanks for the laugh friend... I sure needed that.

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  2. He did try, and you were being nice. This was cute. ps: he's definitely right about the bacon, it was totally just red cardboard bits.

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  3. I'm so torn. Because this happened yesterday (the last day of Team Ginger), I feel like I should side with him, but because you are posting about it today I feel like I should be Team Sass. You win. You handled that well...too well...as in you are planning on taking over the world some day well. He was in the palm of your hand. I too cannot believe how often he forgets your a vegetarian.

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  4. Haha oh this is hilarious. Poor the Prince. I kinda feel bad for him but at the same time how could he forget that you are not a carnivore? You have only been dating for like forever.

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  5. I do that too with ceasar salads! Ceasar dressing is disgusting. But bacon bits are delish. And I think he does this on purpose. Anchovies are tougher to remember but BACON? Come on Prince.

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    Replies
    1. yeah... he's good with small details... major things.. not so much!

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  6. Nice move!
    I would be so sad/mad if I were you. Ya, I'd probably cry because I am that much of a hangry baby

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  7. I love the banter in your relationship! :)

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  8. Just so you know my office manager and I got into a big conversation about Ceaser Salad Dressing.

    "did you know Ceaser Salad dressing has anchovies in it?"

    her: "no it does not. I'm googling it."

    "I just read it right here, why do you argue with everything I tell you?"

    her: "i know it has eggs in it."

    "no it does friggin not. that is gross. look ANCHOVIES paste, what the hell.. omg, it does have eggs."

    her: "you can substitute the anchovies for soy sauce"

    me: "stop."

    i blame you.

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  9. Everytime Chris and I have a hilarious conversation about domesticness I think, "O, this is a PrinceandProzac moment LOL." Unfortunately you can't instagram a convo, otherwise I'd be all over that shi'.

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    Replies
    1. hahahaha. I love that you have moments that are blog-worthy :)

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  10. haha that one always works!
    Shock them with the opposite!

    http://johced-ourjourneytoeverywhere.blogspot.com/
    xxx

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  11. Hahaha, I love this! (Knowing me, I'd probably throw the salad back at my boyfriend's face and complain about how I'd be hungry the rest of the day.)

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  12. oh no!! im not a vegetarian but im not a bacon on my salad girl either! you handled this very well, too well in fact :) i hope the prince wont have to pay for this for too long!

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    Replies
    1. ahhaa he won't, he's out of the doghouse don't worry.

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  13. And did he come back with a replacement salad? He sounds so sweet :)

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  14. aww his attempt failed! How gutting haha. Nice try though :P. xx

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Thanks for commenting, lovely human.