Yesterday, on the phone, shortly before lunchtime:
The Prince: "What kind of salad do you want for lunch today?"
Me: "I don't know. I'm not up for serious decision-making right now. You can just pick one and surprise me."
The Prince: "What about the kind with the almonds and the mandarins?"
Me: "No no no, not that kind. I'm really tired of mandarins right now."
The Prince: "So I can just PICK ONE, but I can't actually pick one because you're tired of mandarins."
Me: "Yep. Gotta go. See you soon."
Roughly 15 minutes later, The Prince shows up at my office:
The Prince: "Okay, so I got you a caesar salad."
Me: "Baby, caesar salad dressing has anchovies in it."
The Prince: "I know! Which is why I got you buttermilk ranch dressing instead! I know you do that sometimes- you get caesar salad with ranch dressing instead- so that's what I got you! I am the best!"
Me: "Ohhhh you're so cute. Thank you."
It was at this point that The Prince took my salad out of the bag and set it on my desk. I looked at the salad. Then I looked at The Prince. Then I looked back at the salad and then back up at The Prince.
The Prince: "Yes kitten?"
Me: "There's bacon all over this salad."
The Prince: "NOOOOO."
Me: "Yeah. That's bacon. Lots of bacon."
The Prince: "Well, it's probably not real bacon."
The Prince: "You're not going to eat this, are you?"
The Prince: "I amazes me that I forget about you being vegetarian so frequently."
The Prince: "Can't you just pretend there's no meat? Or pretend they're the veggie bacon bits we have at home?"
The Prince: "I hate vegetarians."
Me: "I know."
The Prince: "Well, here, have some apples, then. I'm going back to my work to eat TWO caesar salads, and I'm going to enjoy every bit of bacon on them."
The Prince: "WHY AREN'T YOU BEING OUTRAGEOUS ABOUT THIS? I feel guilty because you're NOT getting angry. If you were angry, I'd be like 'well screw you, I tried', but now you're doing this whole 'It's okay sweetie, I know you tried' and THAT'S making ME angry."
Me: "I love you."
The Prince: "I LOVE YOU TOO, but I am leaving and I am not pleased."
With a grin,