Friday, September 21, 2012

And then my mom played matchmaker

My mother called me at work yesterday:

Me: "Hi mom. You know I'm still at work, right?"

My mom: "Yes, but this is important."

Me: "Okay. Go ahead."

My mom: "Well. You know Michelle*, the younger teacher I work with?"

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent victims of my mother's actions.

Me: "Yes, of course. I've talked with her many times. She's friends with a bunch of people I know."

My mom: "Right. Yesterday, she was telling me about how she went to a wedding last weekend and that she had tried for months to come up with a good date to take, but she didn't find one. She ended up bringing her gay best friend."

Me: "I see no issues with that scenario. Gay best friends make the best wedding dates."

My mom: "I didn't say there was an issue, I'm just saying that I know Michelle is looking for a boyfriend; she's lonely and I just think she's such a sweet, nice girl."

Me: "Okay..."

My mom: "She even adopted a dog so that she would meet new people at the park, and it's not working!"


My mom: "So, you know your friend Jason? I drove by his work about an hour ago on my lunch and this plan just jumped into my head! I want to set Michelle up with Jason! Jason is such a nice guy! And isn't he 31? Michelle is 31! And they both like dogs!"

Me: "Mooooom..."

My mom: "Jason is looking for a girlfriend, right? I remember when he came over in the summer he said he was thinking about online dating! Michelle has been talking about that too, so I figure I can save them the trouble and just introduce them!"

Me: "Mooooooooooom..."

My mom: "Maybe I could invite them both over for dinner? Your dad and I can ease them into the idea of going out?"

Me: "Whoa whoa whoa. You know there's not a chance in hell that dad is going to help you with your shenanigans."

My mom: "You're right. Your father is such a mean old thing. Anyway, I need you to text Jason and see if he's interested. Tell him she's cute. She's cute, right?"

Me: "Sure. Cute. But you're not hosting dinner, mom. If they want to meet up, they can go to a bar like normal people who date. You sitting them down at the kitchen table for a meal sounds terrifying."

My mom: "Did you just say that I'm terrifying?"

Me: "Not exac-"

My mom: "Just be helpful, okay? Text Jason. I'll make sure Michelle is okay with me giving out her number. Go test the water and then report back to me."

Me: "You are not the boss of me, lady."


Me: "Fine! Fine! I'm texting Jason! I'm texting him right now!"

My mom: "Right, and then call me back! I'm so excited!"

With a slow head shake,

P.S. I'm still a newbie on Twitter so there's lots of potential for you to see me embarrass myself on there. Find me @princeandprozac


  1. I want your family to adopt me, kinda.

    I don't twitt.. STILL.

  2. Haha this is soo cute! Omg I love your mom. You must report back to the rest of us as well. I need to know the ending to this story. =)

  3. This could become a whole series of posts ... or a whole new blog if your mom wants to keep up the matchmaking. Think about it.

  4. haha this is great, im curious to see how this turns out :)

  5. Hahah, the poor couple. It does sound like a solid plan, but yes, sitting down at an arranged dinner sounds terrifying.

  6. I would like your mom to focus on me next. Make it happen.

  7. so glad I made it out of the ring of fire of blind dates.
    never doing that again.

  8. at least our mom did not make the call herself ...something mine would have done.
    spill the details! sounds like she has the best intentions.

  9. Or they could go out to the dog park together ;)

  10. Oh, yeah. *That's* not going to be hideous for them, you, and basically everyone except your mom. Not at all.

    Although people who've endured extreme or horrific experiences with each other (abduction, plane crashes, etc) are frequently reported to feel a close emotional bond after their experience. So, if they survive the embarrassment, it might just seal the deal. Until their psychological wounds start to heal, at least... :P

  11. You're right, that did sound terrifying. lol

  12. hahaha oh moms. evan's mom does things like that with us, but with "friends." these people who are like 10-15 years older than us who she says are "around our age" and junk. hiiii,no.

  13. I'm so looking forward to the sequel of this!! Am following you on Twitter now!

  14. HAHAHAH those poor people...getting sucked into your Mom's set-up. When will the old folks learn to just leave us be!

  15. I got anxious on behalf of Michelle and Jason when I thought about them sitting down to dinner with your parents. No one can make a good impression in that environment. Also, your mom is awesome.

  16. BAHAHAH, this is actually incredible!! This WAS a very important and pressing topic for a phone call at work!! -Addy


Thanks for commenting, lovely human.