Monday, September 17, 2012

And then I called my mom to ask if my brother was still alive

This morning on the phone:

My mom: "Hey doll."

Me: "Hi mom. How's it going?"

My mom: "Good... why are you calling me so early? Are you even at work yet?"

Me: "Nope, still in bed actually. Just a quick question for you."

My mom: "Okay..."

Me: "How's The Bear? Is he like, sick or anything?"

My mom: "No? He was sick earlier last week. He said he felt like he was dying then, but he's much better now."

Me: "Oh, interesting."

My mom: "Why?"

Me: "Well, it's interesting that he said he felt like he was dying."

My mom: "WHY?"

Me: "Because I just had a dream that The Bear died."

My mom: "YOU WHAT?!"

Me: "Yeah. It was Christmastime and I guess he died in the hospital... something about his whole body being toxic? And then no one actually informed me of his passing until you reminded me I needed to return his Christmas present because he was no longer with us."

My mom: "I am at work right now! You can't just call me and tell me you're dreaming about your brother dying!"

Me: "I'm just checking in, making sure he's okay and all. Maybe make him drink some juice when he gets home? The dream nurse at the dream hospital was insistent that if he drank some juice, he would get better."

My mom: "You are not just checking in! You're having this conversation specifically to get me going!"

Me: "Moommmmm. I wouldn't do that. If it's any consolation, I was really saddened by his death in the dream."

My mom: "You know that now I'm going to worry about your brother all day long! I'm going to have to call him at work to make sure he's okay!"

Me: "Yeah. I need to go get ready for work now."

My mom: "I wonder if he's still sick and he's not saying anything? I told him to make a doctor's appointment!"

Me: "Okay mom, I'm hanging up now..."

And once I was off the phone:

The Prince: "You are an evil, evil woman."

Me: "No shit. I'm also hilarious. I'm positive that my mother is currently phoning The Bear at his work to make sure he's not dying. How many levels of awesome is that?"

Regards,


49 comments:

  1. Can I just tell you, I love, love, love your blog! You are freaking hilarous!

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  2. It's kind of fun to use your powers for evil on occasion, no?! Bahahaha. Let us know when The Bear gets his revenge.

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  3. But I do have to share this with you. I had a dream that something was very very very wrong with my oldest sister. I told my mom about my dream. I asked her to please call my sister just to check in. Since she never calls us. So she did and my sister was all like "how did you know?!?!" turns out she found a lump on her boob. That was super super freaky.

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    1. that is freaky... thankfully my mom will make sure The Bear is fine. :)

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  4. Haha that is some serious effed up shit. The Bear is totally gonna come up with a plan to get back at you for this.

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  5. I do this on a regular basis so I'm not sure how crazy that makes me! Rx

    http://sandersonsmithstory.blogspot.co.uk/

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  6. Mean. So very mean. But yea, a tad bit funny because moms worry about every little thing.

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  7. You are such a brat. I'm like your mom. I have these dreams and then I'm the one calling them to make sure they're okay.

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  8. pahaha! my mom would never even bat an eye. I've tried to get her to react in such a way. I need to start getting creative if I'm ever going to get a rise out of her.

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  9. oh, lord i couldn't pull this over on my mother, she knows every damn thing that goes on. I live 40 miles away and she knows when i take a crap.

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    Replies
    1. this is why I love on the other side of the country from my mother...

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  10. I love that you didn't just call The Bear and ask him yourself.

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    1. nope. that would have been much less fun.

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  11. I love your blog too! You are hilarious! Evil yes, hilarious even more so! Your posts always make me smile.

    Jessica @ Sunny Days and Starry Nights

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  12. OMG I'm so glad you left the comment on my blog, I was able to find yours. I reread this twice I was laughing so hard. I would love to wind my mother up like that, I just spend my life seething over her failures! Love this, can't wait to read more! x

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    1. hahahaha yes! So glad you loved this post :)

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  13. whahaha!
    My mother would give me the biggest shitout!
    Well done!

    http://johced-ourjourneytoeverywhere.blogspot.com/
    xxx

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  14. Untold levels of awesome. Your brother must love you. You know, to death :-)

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    Replies
    1. he sure does... love and anger, same thing, amirite?

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  15. Ha, poor Mom. They just always have to worry. Too funny!
    xo TJ

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  16. MWHAHAHAHAHA! You're evil and I love it!

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  17. lol! A cruel cruel joke. Can't blame you though, over-worried mothers have it coming.

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  18. TOO many levels of awesome!!! hahah i love it. p.s. Guess I’m cool now reading “what the cool kids are reading”

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Thanks for commenting, lovely human.