Tuesday, August 28, 2012

I pierced my own tongue once

Well, it was actually my tongue web.

You know, the little webby part underneath your tongue.

Google if you must.

I did it in the 11th grade.

Because my friend did it first and I wanted to be badass, too.

Pierced it with a push pin.

Yep.

May or may not have been high at the time.

I was going through a phase.

Took me over an hour to get a barbell in it after the inital stabbing was over.

Then my entire mouth swelled up, and I was slurring my speech for a week.

Somehow, my parents did not find out about my self-mutilation.

Amazing, I know.

Once it healed, I had this gross habit of somehow pulling the barbell through my teeth.

I am an animal.

Anyway, one day in English class, I was pulling the barbell.

And then I felt a snap in my mouth.

And the barbell was out.

Because I had just snapped my tongue web in half.

Was not a good time.

True story.

 I am cool as hell.

Best,

40 comments:

  1. wow, now that is a visual hahaha. you're funny, hope your tongue web is all better now :)

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  2. My tongue web hurts just thinking about this...did it leave a scar?

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    Replies
    1. there's a little bump. the webbing seems to have molded back together... I might be an alien?

      Delete
  3. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! That is all.

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  4. That is absolutely crazy! Didn't it really really hurt? Ouch!

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    Replies
    1. Honestly, only for a second when the pin went through, then it was just an ache.

      when it snapped out? nope, it was just super weird.

      Delete
  5. Ouch ouch ouch! On so many levels! I so missed reading your posts!

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    Replies
    1. ahhaah glad to have you back for this one ;)

      Delete
  6. Omg, I literally flinched and squirmed while reading this! OUCH!

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    Replies
    1. That's because you're normal! Me, in grade 11? Not so much.

      Delete
  7. I put a third hole in one of my ears once with a safety pin and a lighter. Once the safety pin was in there I was too much of a wuss to take it out and put a real earring in there. So, eventually the safety pin rusted and you can imagine where this story goes from here. I also got my naval pierced when I was 16 at a place that didn't check your ID...also, use your imagination about how well that went.

    Tara
    Penniless Socialite

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    Replies
    1. You are way more badass than me, wow. You get an internet trophy.

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  8. AGH! That makes me hurt just thinking about it!!

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  9. UMMMM ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THIS POST?! I am literally about to curl up into a ball and die.

    One that little tongue web is the grossest body part next to achilles tendons. AND THEN YOU PIERCED IT! AND THEN YOU PIERCED IT BY YOURSELF! WITH A PUSH PIN! I am dying. I didn't even know that could be pierced.

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    Replies
    1. hahaahah Erin. I'm sorry.

      Yeah, it's actually pretty popular? Don't know why... it's not like anyone sees it.

      Delete
  10. I threw up in my mouth a little bit.

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  11. Is this the grossest thing I've ever heard?

    maybe.

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  12. Bloody heck.

    So is your tongue web still broken?

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    Replies
    1. Weirdly, it isn't. I guess the extra skin just... went away? Not sure, but I don't want to think about it too much, haha.

      Delete
  13. This made me want to poop my pants in disgust.

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  14. Omg I literally cringed throughout this whole post.

    I've had a lot of piercings but never anything in my mouth because I've seen some gruesome tongue piercings - but I'm sure yours totally takes the cake. Lol.

    ♥ Duckie.

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    Replies
    1. yeah, it wasn't as cool as I thought it would be..

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  15. Hahahhahahahahhaha.
    And didn't you have to sing the next day?

    I did my belly button with a saftey pin once. Turns out a safety pin isn't as wide as a sleeper earring, I passed out trying to get one in. Such a badass.

    PS: disgusting about the snapping though. Ew.

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    Replies
    1. I think I did, yeah.

      I remember the story of you and your belly button! ahhhh!

      P.S. I knowww.

      Delete
  16. Is it weird that reading this made me miss all of my piercings?
    I never had my tongue webbing pierced, but I did have my tongue pierced. Thanks to my friend, who wasn't a piercer but wanted to, and learned everything possible.

    I can't believe you ripped your webbing. You ARE an animal.
    Did it ever grow back together? Is that even possible?

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    Replies
    1. I kind of miss my other piercings sometimes, too.

      I'm not sure if it grew back together.... it's just sort of not there at all anymore... it's weird.

      Delete
  17. Holy freakin' ouch. Umm, did it grow closed again?

    Also, I read your slurry line while slurring in my head.

    I've had my tongue pierced 3x and had t stop because I was constantly playing with it. Or I'd take it out and couldn't get it back in.

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    Replies
    1. The webbing has sort of disappeared with time, I think.

      haha, slurring in your head?

      yeah, it's suuuuuuper hard to get a tongue piercing back in once it's out!

      Delete
  18. I heart your blog! I'm hosting 3 fab giveaways {Lush Nuts, Namaste & Enjoy hair care} & thought you would be interested!

    P.S. I'm now following you on GFC :)

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  19. oh em gee. this literally made me cringe. craziness.

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    Replies
    1. yeah... I was a little hardcore, what can I say.

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  20. Ha! We are even more alike: I pierced my own belly button in 8th grade. Ice and a needle. I did it because my mom said I couldn't. Then it got infected. What ended up happening? My mom let me get it professionally done. She totally caved and I won. Then, when I was 16 I wanted my tongue pierced. I was too chicken to do that myself, so instead I waited until I took a class trip to Europe and paid some German speaking man to do it.

    (It's children like me that make me never want to have children)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. IN THE 8TH GRADE? HEATHEN CHILD!

      AND THEN YOU GOT A TONGUE PIERCING IN EUROPE? OH MYLANTA.

      Officially terrified of having kids.

      Delete

Thanks for commenting, lovely human.