Well, it was actually my tongue web.
You know, the little webby part underneath your tongue.
Google if you must.
I did it in the 11th grade.
Because my friend did it first and I wanted to be badass, too.
Pierced it with a push pin.
May or may not have been high at the time.
I was going through a phase.
Took me over an hour to get a barbell in it after the inital stabbing was over.
Then my entire mouth swelled up, and I was slurring my speech for a week.
Somehow, my parents did not find out about my self-mutilation.
Amazing, I know.
Once it healed, I had this gross habit of somehow pulling the barbell through my teeth.
I am an animal.
Anyway, one day in English class, I was pulling the barbell.
And then I felt a snap in my mouth.
And the barbell was out.
Because I had just snapped my tongue web in half.
Was not a good time.
I am cool as hell.