Monday, August 27, 2012

And then my dad hit my mom and it was funny

How's that for a title?

My dad called me on Friday night. Our conversation went like this:

Me: "Hi dad."

My dad: "Okay listen to this. So. Your brother and a few of his friends are outside right now packing up for a booze-fest weekend at the cottage, and while they've been doing that they have also been playing frisbee with Jet (the family dog).

Anyway, one of the guys threw the frisbee and it landed waaay up in one of the giant trees beside the house. This, of course, made our crazy dog go crazy, so I had to figure out a way to get it down.

I went to the shed and grabbed one of those heavy, rubberized balls- you know, the ones that Jet likes to eat for breakfast when he's feeling destructive. I walked over to the tree and your brother and all his friends are saying 'You can't hit the frisbee with that, that would be an impossible shot, no way'.

Regardless, I take one look and throw the ball, hard, up into the tree where the frisbee is. It HITS THE FRISBEE, and the frisbee comes tumbling down toward Jet, who has been waiting for this moment.

But, since I threw the ball so hard, it actually continued flying through the tree past all the branches. And then it came down right in the exact spot in the yard where your mother was tending some flowers.

It hit her in the head. IT HIT HER IN THE HEAD. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA."

Me: "DAD."

My mother, in the background: "ARE YOU HEARING THIS? HE HIT ME. HE HIT ME IN THE HEAD AND HE THINKS IT'S HILARIOUS."

My dad: "Oh, come on. It was an ACCIDENT. A lucky, comical accident. Honestly, if I stood there for the rest of my life trying to recreate this moment, I couldn't do it. Not only did my shot hit the frisbee on the first try, it had the added bonus of hitting your mother on the head when it came down."

Me: "And let me guess, you had to call me immediately so that you got to tell it your way before mom ruined it with her hysterics."

My dad: "Exactly. It was so awesome. Your brother and his friends think it was the best thing ever. They're still laughing outside. I'm practically a hero."

Me: "Okay dad. Yes, it's a funny story."

My dad: "It's not just a funny story. This event is the DEFINITION of 'hitting two birds with one stone'."

Me: "Okay dad."

My dad: "I have to go. Your mother is threatening to stop cooking dinner. Bye."

True story,





P.S. Want to read more about my dad? Try these:

1) Some amusing things about my dad
2) And then my dad got some new sandals
3) And then there was a story about my parents

44 comments:

  1. hahahahahaha... that's awesome. Sounds like my family.. and yes, it's funny.

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  2. i'm going to go around throwing balls at people and say that I was trying to get a frisbee out of a tree.

    out of jail free, card.

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  3. He should be careful next time. Sure he's a hero, but he was almost a hero without dinner.

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  4. Hahah! He is pretty proud of that feat - hilarious that he called you first!

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    Replies
    1. yep, always has to beat my mom to the phone when something funny happens.

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  5. "The bonus of hitting your mother"...I snorted...loudly!!

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  6. haha!! Love your dad, I can only imagine how mad your mom must have been!!

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  7. HAHAHA hilarious!! Don't ya just love those phone calls!

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    1. I do like them, especially since we're living so far away. Makes me feel like I'm still in on the shenanigans.

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  8. I would have laughed too. I mean... what are the chances he gets the Frisbee down AND hits your mom on the other side? Your dad has the best humor and poetry.

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    Replies
    1. ahhaa. my dad would think you are great.

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  9. That is funny...your mom will find it funny too, as soon as her concussion heals

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  10. That;s great! I love those moments when something hilarious happens from trying to do something not so funny.

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  11. Oh, your dad is such a cool, big baby :) He's the living proof of "Boys will be boys", hehe

    xoxo

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  12. This IS hysterical. Your Dad is beyond awesome. Are they accepting any transfer offspring? I'd like to apply.

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    Replies
    1. There's an online application you can fill out.

      (not really, but that is a great blog post idea- stay tuned)

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    2. Get Dad in on this! Draw up an application. Accept 20 or so, see who he'd adopt! Oh yes, you are welcome.

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    3. you are so brilliant. I'm going to try and make this a reality.

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  13. i think your family needs a show too but it can only be shown after your show of course

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  14. Ha ha ha!!! This one gave me a good laugh at work, thanks!

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  15. Can I please come hang out with you just so I can experience these stories first hand??

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    Replies
    1. Of course you can come hang out with me. Anytime. Seriously.

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  16. The title reminds me - my ex used to always say "It's like daddy hit mommy in here." if anyone ever looked shocked or if it was super awkward.
    Anyways, that's kick ass, my dad's pretty comical but I just wish I got calls like that!!

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    Replies
    1. that's a terrible, hilarious phrase, haha.

      his phone calls are usually a treat!

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  17. holy crap that is funny stuff. I want to be in your family!

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    Replies
    1. you are totally welcome to join, haha.

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  18. Kinda reminds me of the time my dad convinced my mom that the vine touching her in the back was a snake. She jumped so high and so far. My dad took quite a beating. I nearly drowned in the pool from laughing so hard. Reading this made my spit soda all over my computer screen. LOL

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    Replies
    1. oh, snakes. how do men not know that it's never okay to joke about snakes? NEVER.

      I think drowning from laughing might be an okay way to go, haha.

      Glad to be responsible for your soda-spitting, btw.

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Thanks for commenting, lovely human.