My dad called me on Friday night. Our conversation went like this:
Me: "Hi dad."
My dad: "Okay listen to this. So. Your brother and a few of his friends are outside right now packing up for a booze-fest weekend at the cottage, and while they've been doing that they have also been playing frisbee with Jet (the family dog).
Anyway, one of the guys threw the frisbee and it landed waaay up in one of the giant trees beside the house. This, of course, made our crazy dog go crazy, so I had to figure out a way to get it down.
I went to the shed and grabbed one of those heavy, rubberized balls- you know, the ones that Jet likes to eat for breakfast when he's feeling destructive. I walked over to the tree and your brother and all his friends are saying 'You can't hit the frisbee with that, that would be an impossible shot, no way'.
Regardless, I take one look and throw the ball, hard, up into the tree where the frisbee is. It HITS THE FRISBEE, and the frisbee comes tumbling down toward Jet, who has been waiting for this moment.
But, since I threw the ball so hard, it actually continued flying through the tree past all the branches. And then it came down right in the exact spot in the yard where your mother was tending some flowers.
It hit her in the head. IT HIT HER IN THE HEAD. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA."
My mother, in the background: "ARE YOU HEARING THIS? HE HIT ME. HE HIT ME IN THE HEAD AND HE THINKS IT'S HILARIOUS."
My dad: "Oh, come on. It was an ACCIDENT. A lucky, comical accident. Honestly, if I stood there for the rest of my life trying to recreate this moment, I couldn't do it. Not only did my shot hit the frisbee on the first try, it had the added bonus of hitting your mother on the head when it came down."
Me: "And let me guess, you had to call me immediately so that you got to tell it your way before mom ruined it with her hysterics."
My dad: "Exactly. It was so awesome. Your brother and his friends think it was the best thing ever. They're still laughing outside. I'm practically a hero."
Me: "Okay dad. Yes, it's a funny story."
My dad: "It's not just a funny story. This event is the DEFINITION of 'hitting two birds with one stone'."
Me: "Okay dad."
My dad: "I have to go. Your mother is threatening to stop cooking dinner. Bye."
P.S. Want to read more about my dad? Try these:
1) Some amusing things about my dad
2) And then my dad got some new sandals
3) And then there was a story about my parents