Tuesday, August 21, 2012

And then I tried to swindle my way into an expensive gift for no reason

Last night before going to sleep:

Me: "Yeah so there's this silver bracelet I want, I think it's even on sale for something ridiculously low like 200 bucks."

The Prince: "Your notion of 'ridiculously low' is a little whacked considering that, less than an hour ago, you got pissed at me in the grocery store for attempting to buy baby spinach that was 10 CENTS more than the baby spinach you intended to purchase."

Me: "Yeah but that spinach was for a salad. This bracelet would be for life."

The Prince: "Bullshit. You have more silver jewelry than you know what to do with."

Me: "I hoard it, okay? When I was a toddler I used to hoard My Little Pony toys and carry them around everywhere, and now that I'm a grown woman, I hoard sterling silver jewelry. You're just going to have to accept this. Accept this and buy me that bracelet."

The Prince: "No way. Maybe for Christmas. Christmas is the next special occasion that warrants a gift of jewelry."

Me: "See, here's the thing. I've been thinking about this..."

The Prince: "Oh no, not THINKING."

Me: "Shhhh. You see, There's Christmas, which we agree is a jewelry-sanctioned event. After that, BAM, it's Valentine's Day. That means more sparkly things. Then comes April, and WOO, it's my birthday, and we both know that means expensive shit, and then less than one month later, YIPPEE it's our yearly dating anniversary, and really, how could that EVER not mean jewelry?
Doesn't this just make your heart race?

The Prince: "Unbelievably, I'm listening to this crap. Go on."

Me: "So what I'm saying is that for the first half of the year, from Christmastime through to May, I am a happy camper. There are jewelry events practically raining from the skies. But then there's June, July, August, September, October and November... all with no shiny gifts."

The Prince: "So?"

Me: "I'm just not okay with it, you know? I mean, I've practically made it through the first 3 jewelry-free months of this year already, and I'm telling you, these are sad times. I think you should just buy me the bracelet. I bet if you buy it, I'll be able to make it through until Christmas without becoming a total dragon."

The Prince: "Doubtful."

Me: "HEY."

The Prince: "I'm not buying you the bracelet."

Me: "Yes you are. I'm going to blog about this, and then everyone who comments will be all 'The Prince should totally buy you the bracelet' and then you'll feel inclined."

The Prince: "If by 'inclined' you mean 'pressured', I regret to inform you that I don't give a shit."

Me: "You are so mean to me."

The Prince: "I am not. Come here. Give me a kiss."

Me: "Eff that idea. Give me a bracelet."

Sincerely,

61 comments:

  1. That man most definitely owes you that bracelet. Maybe make a deal that you'll let him off coffee duty and swear to not mess up his cd's in the basket for a month and see what he says.

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    Replies
    1. haha. yeah right. me, compromise? NOPE.

      Delete
  2. I have been telling Jamal lately that he has to be me "just because" gifts. So now when I want something I tell him it's a "just because" and he should do it.

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    1. I like your style, Brittany. I do, I do.

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  3. I like to make up events that necessitate jewelry. This week is my boyfriend's one week-iversary of having a real job. This equates to me getting a present. Just make something up.

    Tara
    Penniless Socialite

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    Replies
    1. hahaah, I pulled this exact same thing when The Prince landed his current job.

      "OH what's that? Your first paycheck? I want a present."

      Delete
  4. How 'bout he gives me the shiny silver bracelet since I don't have a Prince therefor I get zero shiny silver presents on any month of the whole year. I think this seems logical, no?

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  5. hahahaha... I think you should definitely have the shiny bracelet. You can tell the bf I said so.

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  6. you two kids, you really just love each other. I can tell.

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    Replies
    1. shit, no one's supposed to know that, shay. shhhhh!

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  7. Tell him he should be glad you like silver jewelry, and not big diamonds or fast cars.

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    Replies
    1. oh but you see, I DO like big diamonds and fast cars! I love them! I was just being reasonable with the bracelet, haha.

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  8. I was in a Tiffany's once. The employees didn't like me drooling over everything. lol

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    Replies
    1. hahah, yeah, I go in there and I'm like a deer in headlights.

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  9. This is an amazing convo. I love every part of it. Your logic is impeccable! In fact, I think you should market this logic and turn the "dry months" to the pressure filled glory of Valentine's Day. No man can resist the pressure of VD! (ha--VD--hope not!) :)
    xoxo

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    1. ahhaaha VD! Very funny.

      I am a total marketing genius, though, for reals. The Prince doesn't stand a chance.

      Delete
    2. Watch Me!

      The Prince

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    3. Oh Prince. You're hopeless, baby, just hopeless.

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  10. Love it! I'm trying to work that logic on a new Kate Spade bag. Thats reasonable, right?

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  11. I'm thinking he should certainly get the bracelet for you!!
    I completely understand how you're feeling in this time of need!
    One fellow Canadian to another, SHE NEEDS THIS.
    And ya know, happy wife....happy life! :)

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    Replies
    1. hahaahahha. Jessica, you are so great. Thank you. I will instruct The Prince to read your comment.

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  12. oooh that is so pretty!! i love our girl's logic to get our men to buy us pretty stuff :-)

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  13. Here you go, exactly what you've asked for: The Prince should totally buy you the bracelet.
    Plus. How couldn't he, it's so shiny :D xx

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    Replies
    1. hahaha, yep. I will show him your comment.

      Delete
  14. The Prince should definitely buy you jewelry. Let's be more specific...the Prince should definitely buy you that exact bracelet from Tiffany's. No Cracker Jack crap.

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    Replies
    1. Oh hell, girrrrl, he KNOWS BETTER than to buy me cracker jack crap ;)

      Delete
  15. He should totally get you the bracelet because once the holidays roll around, he's going to have no idea what to get you jewelry-wise then because he will feel like a total juicebox (see, stole your term) getting you the bracelet you asked for MONTHS ago. If he gets it now, he can supplement this purchase during the "shiny months" with complementary ones that match the bracelet (earrings, ring, keychain, etc). If the bracelet is not purchased now, all of those things, and your future happiness, go out the window. You can also tell him it will look great with the sexy lingerie you just purchased to wear for him ;)

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    1. Emily. You are increeeeedddible. I'm emailing this comment to The Prince right now. Seriously.

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  16. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    1. I have the interlocking circles necklace too! It was my first-ever Tiffany's item!

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  17. http://thingsboganslike.com/2011/01/19/209-tiffany-co/

    Reminded me of this. I am yet to own a Tiffany necklace but if I get anything less expensive diamond wise when I get proposed to it's defs not on.

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  18. Your logic is undeniable. But really, what were you thinking, putting all the important dates so close together in the calendar? I'm proud to be born in July, which means I have approximately half a year to wait in between birthday and Christmas presents. Add in Valentine's day, and that makes it all the better. The greatest tragedy of my life was that I got married in December. My anniversary is merely three weeks from Christmas. :( When we were planning it in late September I so wanted to put it in mid-November, like maybe Thanksgiving weekend, but my family revolted about that. They do not understand the need to spread out the presents.

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    1. I know, I totally messed up with all the important dates being smooshed together.

      hahah at "the greatest tragedy of my life was that I got married in December"

      You are FUNNY.

      Delete
  19. Your logic definitely makes sense. Tiffany is just a girl's best friend. I walked past the store the other day and I literally swooned. Damn that teal box of perfectness!!

    Also, I had no idea how behind on your blog I was. =[

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    1. The tiffany blue gets me every time.

      I have really been missing you over here! Glad to have you back!

      Delete
  20. Dying. I could totally hear myself having the same conversation with my husband. And his answers would have been the same as the Prince's. Just yesterday I told him I wanted a monogram necklace for Christmas and he told me Christmas was too far off to start making a list. I said, it's never too early, duh.

    Prince, buy it for her :)

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    Replies
    1. Ooooh, a monogram necklace from Tiffany's? They have super nice ones.

      NEVER too early for a list, never.

      Delete
  21. Hahah this is amazing. I am literally dying.
    It's like a novel.

    And yeah, Mr. owes you a bracelet. :)

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    1. "It's like a novel"?????

      Favourite comment of the day for this aspiring writer, haha.

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  22. You tell the Prince that his fellow ging from the States is totally on his side. Sorry E :)

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    1. Oh well look at you, G, bein' all difficult. ;)

      I guess it's okay, though, you ginger boys must stick together.

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    2. haha, you're such a guy. SUUUUUCCH a guy.

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  23. I have to say I agree with the Prince too. If you are always getting jewelry or expensive presents, you will eventually stop appreciating them. He could get you a little something though ;)

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    1. ROBIN! You're supposed to be on my side, haha.

      Bracelets are little! It could totally be a little something! ;)

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    2. That is true...and really, if you think about it, he owes you--big time!!

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    3. For what? The camping? He does owe me for that terrible camping experience.

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    4. Well, yes, that too but I was thinking of something else.

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  24. Use his money and buy it yourself ;) that's what I do.

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Thanks for commenting, lovely human.