Me: "Hey! Guess what! I got a package!"
The Prince: "I thought I told you I wasn't really into that sort of thing."
Me: "Don't be a jerk. I mean a MAIL package. From Jen. She even sent you a meat treat."
The Prince: "SHE SENT ME A MEAT TREAT? SHE'S HELPING ME TO ESCAPE FROM YOUR EVIL VEGETARIANISM? I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS WOMAN."
Me: "I figured you might be. Look at these tea towels she made for us! Honestly, her blog name says she's crafty, and it's actually true."
The Prince: "I can see how you might be surprised by the truth in her statement, given that your blog is all "LOOK AT ME I'M FUNNY" when actually you're not funny at all."
Me: "Dude, I will take away your meat treat. Don't test me. Seriously, though, look at these, they are badass."
|SUPER DUCK. Made by Jen of Crafty Home Improvement Misadventures|
|Toasty Love. Made by Jen of Crafty Home Improvement Misadventures|
Me: "I told you they were. I'm going to show them off on my blog tomorrow so that everyone will know how amazing Jen is."
The Prince: "What? I thought you had a strict 'no whoring' policy when it came to the blog. You know, because you're a hipster and you're all about integrity or some shit."
Me: "I am not a hipster. Second, how well do you know me? Of course I wouldn't whore for just anyone, but Jen sent me swag, so she gets a blog post."
The Prince: "So what you're saying, then, is that you are willing to pimp for presents."
The Prince: "You are shady as fuck."
Me: "Perhaps. Apparently Jen thinks I'm a skank, also. Look at this magnet she sent me."
|Really, Jen? Really?|
Me: "You think I'm a skank?"
The Prince: "When I met you, and you were a bartender? Yup."
Me: "But now I'm just a blog pimp, right?"
The Prince: "Nah. Still a skank."