Thursday, August 16, 2012

And then I felt badly for the Tim Hortons employees

So, everyone in Canada loves their Tim Hortons. It's true. That's not just a thing that people say.
Anyway, because we're true Canadians, when The Prince, his brother The Knight (he's 16 and loves Batman) and I were making the nine-hour drive home from our trip to hell their family reunion, we stopped at something like 6 different Tim Hortons' along the way.

At probably our fourth Timmy-Ho stop, The Knight announced that he had to use the washroom.

Roughly 15 minutes later, he exits the Tim Hortons. The Prince and I watched as he walked briskly back to us in the waiting car.

Once into the back seat, The Knight looked up at me VIA the rearview mirror:

"Why aren't you driving yet? There's no time for sitting around, okay? We need to make a quick getaway. I just destroyed the toilet in there."

Me: "YOU WHAT? WHY WOULD YOU TELL ME THAT?"

The Prince: "Hahahahaha way to go, man!"

The Knight: "Seriously, DRIVE. I'm positive that by now, there will be water all over the floor of that bathroom. There was zero flushage action going on when I left. There was nothing I could do."

The Prince: "Serves you right, dude, you ate SOOOO much Wendy's last night."

Me: "BOTH OF YOU, STOP. TALKING."

The Knight: "YOU, START DRIVING. I heard them talking about cleaning the washrooms on my way out, and when they see that mess they're going to KNOW it was me, I was JUST in there."

The Prince: "This is officially the best part of our vacation."

Me, driving away: "I hate you both so much right now. You are not the sweet, polite little ginger boys you pretend to be. You are both bathroom demons. I feel so badly for the poor teenager who is going to be forced to plunge that toilet."

The Knight: "You should feel bad for me instead. I'm starving. I could eat a horse. How long until the next stop? Do you think there will there be a Wendy's we can eat at?"

The Prince: "HAHAHAHHA, Shhhhh! We should stop talking now, her eyes are getting all murder-y. They only get like that when she's seriously pissed. I know because I live with her. This is the same murder-y look she gets when I ruin the toilet in our apartment."

Siiiiiiggghhh,


32 comments:

  1. Roadtrips with boys make for the best stories - and by best, I mean worst.

    Haha, congrats on surviving 9 hours in a car with them ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hah, thank you! I really think I deserve a medal.

      Delete
  2. Girl, you should write a book in addition to the tv show.

    ReplyDelete
  3. omg that is such a funny story. btw, is tim horton's good? and who is tim horton exactly? my sister and i saw that restaurant EVERYWHERE when we were in canada.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tim Horton was a famous hockey player, and Tim Hortons is like... a dunkin donuts, but waaaaaay better.

      Delete
  4. Hilarious haha! Sounds like the majority of my male friends!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Would it make you guys upset that I've never even heard of Tim Hortons??

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahah, no, it just means you're probably not from gorgeous Canada ;)

      Delete
  6. Hahahhahaha gross!
    (You can also tell you are Canadian by the use of the word "washroom")

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. really? what do you call the washroom? the bathroom?

      Delete
    2. I thought the same thing as Baylee! I like the sound of washroom better though.

      Delete
  7. hahaha. Leave it to guys to congratulate each other over wrecking bathrooms. I had never eaten at a Tim Horton's until I visited a friends family up North. She was pretty much on the Canadian boarder and I think we went there four times in 3 days. Good stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  8. So gross. Why do boys discuss these things?? I will never understand.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Boys are gross. I wish we had Tim Horton's down here because I can eat their cheese croissaint for every single meal for the rest of my life...I'd be so blissfully fat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OH YES, THE CHEESE CROISSANTS. WARMED UP. WITH BUTTER. AHHHHHHH. LIKE A CROISSANT REALLY NEEDS ANY MORE BUTTER.

      no idea why I left the caps lock on for all of that one, but I'mma roll with it.

      Delete
  10. The family reunion must have been complete rubbish for this story to be the highlight of the trip.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaah... oh, I guess you didn't see THAT post... haha.

      Delete
  11. What is wrong with the flushage of canadian toilets? Wahhh.

    Also I miss Timmy Hos. Although I will never drink coffee from there, vomit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have other preferences for coffee as well. But the bagels? The timbits? Sign me up.

      Delete
  12. I am SO over Tims, and I don't even have one in my town. (That's how small my town is)...
    The closest one is an hour away and I drive past it. Does that make me a bad person?
    I have to say Duncan Donuts is way better than Tims, WHOOPS, now I'm a really bad person...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I only seem to like it when I'm away from home? I don't know. We never, ever go there on regular days, just when we're traveling longer distances, it seems.

      Delete
  13. I'm not even grossed out, this is just plain hilarious! Then again, I used to be that poor fool who had to plunge toilets... who am I kidding? I just snaked a toilet at work not that long ago. This is the best. Really.

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for commenting, lovely human.