Friday, August 10, 2012

And then I came back to the blogosphere

Did you miss me, bitches?

Of course you did.

Maybe you didn’t realize, but for the last two weeks you’ve been reading pre-packaged, scheduled blog posts while I’ve been away visiting my entourage in Ontario.

Or maybe you did realize, considering that I haven’t been responding to comments.

I had plans to keep up with that, I swear. But then I was drunk for an entire week and suddenly my general feeling toward comment response was sort of like “FUCK THAT NOISE” if you know what I mean.

But now I’m baaaaaaaaack.

The Prince and I have been back in Kelowna for just over a day, and so far, these are the best things that have been said:

1) “Yeah, the keys. THE ONLY KEYS. The only keys we have to your stupid Jeep are locked in the stupid glove box. We are locked out of the Jeep and it’s midnight and if we can’t go get a loaf of bread so that I can have some mothereffing toast I am going to LOSE IT.”

2) “Okay. Feel the carpet in our room. Do you see how this is truly like sandpaper compared to the carpet at my parents’ house? This carpet is some sub-par shit. I knew it all along but our trip home just confirmed it. I have seen the other side, I have walked on plush, luxurious carpet for two weeks and now I have to deal with this downgrade? Unacceptable!”

3) “Our parents really took that whole ‘cheese is expensive in Kelowna’ thing to heart. Your dad gave you three blocks of cheese, and I just noticed that my mom stuck two more in my bag. We have five blocks of cheese… that’s like fifty dollars. We are CHEESE MILLIONAIRES.”

Glad to be back,


  1. Welcome home!! Please see my last bullet point on my confessions today. It was 'bout YOU. I was going thru withdrawals. I wish I was a cheese millionaire. I may have to email you a picture of my "cheese drawer" in my fridge. I have used one entire drawer for cheese. No lie. Maybe I'm a millionaire too!!

  2. "Cheez Millionaires" would be a great name for a rap duo.

    Glad to have you back!

  3. Cheese is the wealth of our generation.

    Plus it tastes way better on nachos than hundred dollar bills. (FUCK VEGAN NACHOS)

    1. fuucccckkkkk vegan nachos. damn my imagined obligations to be polite and accommodating.

  4. Glad to have you back!
    Hope you got your keys out (and got some toast)! lol
    Cheese millionaires. bahahahha

    1. We totally lucked out with the keys- the hatch was unlocked the whole time we were away. ha.

  5. I love this haha!
    Im glad your back, and you should be glad I am too haha
    FINALLY :)

  6. You know what I did notice this no replying back business and I did not like it one bit. It hurt a lot but as long as you came back millionaires I guess it can be okay. But just this once.

  7. Welcome back Cheese Millionaires! I totally didn't notice but welcome back :)


  8. I can appreciate the glory of being a cheese millionaire. I haven't done the math--but I am pretty sure cheese is a notable portion of my monthly budget. I not only demand great quantities of cheese, but great variety as well.

  9. oh sooooo cheesy!

    hahahaa welcome baaack!

  10. I am making chicken stuffed with blue cheese and bacon for dinner. I love cheese.

  11. Welcome home to the West...Ontario misses y'all. Wonderful to meet up in person. Special. What was the ultimate best part of your vacation? can take a little time to think about it...;-)

  12. Welcome back! I was wondering what was going on with the radio silence. You fooled me--now give me some cheese!


Thanks for commenting, lovely human.