Did you miss me, bitches?
Of course you did.
Maybe you didn’t realize, but for the last two weeks you’ve been reading pre-packaged, scheduled blog posts while I’ve been away visiting my entourage in Ontario.
Or maybe you did realize, considering that I haven’t been responding to comments.
I had plans to keep up with that, I swear. But then I was drunk for an entire week and suddenly my general feeling toward comment response was sort of like “FUCK THAT NOISE” if you know what I mean.
But now I’m baaaaaaaaack.
The Prince and I have been back in Kelowna for just over a day, and so far, these are the best things that have been said:
1) “Yeah, the keys. THE ONLY KEYS. The only keys we have to your stupid Jeep are locked in the stupid glove box. We are locked out of the Jeep and it’s midnight and if we can’t go get a loaf of bread so that I can have some mothereffing toast I am going to LOSE IT.”
2) “Okay. Feel the carpet in our room. Do you see how this is truly like sandpaper compared to the carpet at my parents’ house? This carpet is some sub-par shit. I knew it all along but our trip home just confirmed it. I have seen the other side, I have walked on plush, luxurious carpet for two weeks and now I have to deal with this downgrade? Unacceptable!”
3) “Our parents really took that whole ‘cheese is expensive in Kelowna’ thing to heart. Your dad gave you three blocks of cheese, and I just noticed that my mom stuck two more in my bag. We have five blocks of cheese… that’s like fifty dollars. We are CHEESE MILLIONAIRES.”
Glad to be back,