Alright, so, it's still considerably early here in sunny British Columbia.
I'm not sure why I just told you that, given that "earliness" isn't really a good enough excuse for the idiocy I'm about to let you in on.
The Prince has the day off from work, which means he's currently at home playing Skyrim in his underwear and NOT folding the clean laundry as instructed, I'm sure of it.
Because it's his day off, he didn't make any coffee this morning. When I went to leave the apartment, I said:
"You do realize that you not making any coffee is going to result in some serious work mistakes on my part, and I'm going to blame those mistakes on not having coffee, and then I'm going to blame not having coffee on you, and then wouldn't you know it, it's all your fault."
The Prince's response?
"Okay cutie, have fun at work."
ANYWAY, when I arrived at work about an hour ago, I rushed to make an important call.
The guy I was calling didn't answer, so I left him a voicemail:
"Hi James, it's 'The Management' calling from The Place I Work At. I was hoping you could send me X and also X this morning so I can get started on that new project. You can call me back at... oh, no. *long pause as I frantically try to Google the phone number of the place I work at* Um, James? Yeah, I'm still here. I just forgot the number of the place I work at. Hang on. *long pause while I frantically try to find one of my own business cards, where the phone number will certainly be* Okay, okay, I got it. It's 555-666-7777. I'm really sorry about that. Is it Monday morning or what? *sheepish laugh* I swear I'm not an idiot, I just need coffee. Talk to you soon. Bye."
And that voicemail disaster is how I know it's Monday AND how I know that I'm going to totally win the obvious upcoming argument with The Prince when I get home because I was SO RIGHT I AM ALWAYS RIGHT.
After I hung up the phone, one of my co-workers walked up behind me, patted me on the back and was like:
"Maybe you could write the business number down on a sticky note and stick it to your desk?"
To which I was like:
"Maybe you could SHUT YOUR FACE."
Also, this is the text I just sent The Prince: "Hi, Skyrim-playing asshole. I'll have you know that I just made a work mistake because I didn't have any coffee. Remember what that means? Bad things. It means BAD THINGS FOR YOU. You will hereby make coffee every morning without fail until I'm dead and cold. Love youuuu."
And I'll have all of you know, if ANYONE who comments suggests that maybe I should just make my own damn coffee in the morning, the world will probably just be over. Like, over. OVER.
Here's to Monday mornings,