2) "Please stop sending me texts about poop. Especially when I'm at work."
3) "No, we don't need to go to the meat section. I don't know why you drag me over there every time we come here. It's not like I'm going to see a bloody steak and suddenly become a carnivore, that's not how this vegetarian stuff works. There's no cure. I'm sorry."
4) "What do you MEAN you just told your cousin he can live with us for a month?! He can't live with us! Our apartment is too tiny! I already struggle with the fact that YOU hear me pee when I go to the bathroom, I can't imagine trying to deal with the two of you sitting on the couch listening to my bodily functions. I'm panicking just THINKING about it."
5) "Kitten? Kitten? KITTEN*. I'm locked in the shower again and I can't get out! There's something wrong with the door! The latch is stuck! I'm trapped! I thought you were going to fix this like a good boyfriend?! I told you find the screw driver yesterday! Can you bring me my towel? I'm getting really cold! Where are youuuu?! Why aren't you coming to rescue me?!"
*"Kitten" is The Prince's nickname for me, but I've started calling him Kitten as well just to fuck with his mind. It's working.
6) "Wake up. Wake up. I think there's a moth in here, I can hear it flying around. Can you get up and squash it? I hate moths. They're like butterflies, but evil. They hang on things like they're bats or something and I'm not okay with it."
7) "We're not going to be able to camp on the side of the Trans-Canada wherever we feel like it. Why? Because RAPE AND PILLAGE is a THING."
8) "How many times do we have to go over this? You trim the wick AND THEN you light the candle. It really doesn't work when you do it the other way around."
9) "Roll over. Your breath smells like it could belong to a dragon. A dragon with very poor dental hygiene."
10) "Shit, is that an ant? It is. It's totally an ant, and where there's one ant, there's a zillion. KILL IT WITH FIRE."
Cheers,
Thank you for lovely comment. If you like my blog I think you should take a look at my darling friend S's blogg:
ReplyDeletehttp:// mydarlingsolitude.blogspot.com
// Avy ♥
hahahahaha. I bet the Prince is constantly entertained by you!
ReplyDeleteOhhh yes. He is, whether he likes it or not.
DeleteYou know, you may be a bit mean to him....but I love it! Very entertaining and that's what is most important haha
ReplyDeleteThat's the thing about my blog sometimes. I post the mean things I say because they're funny, and I refrain from posting much of the lovey dovey stuff because, while it's adorable, it's less entertaining. I think so, anyway.
DeleteHaha moths hang on to things like bats. So true. Apparently you really don't like bugs. It wasn't obvious in this post at all
ReplyDeleteahhaha. Yeeeahhh not a fan!
Deletehahaha they really ARE evil butterflies! I kinda liked the Jane Austen Book Club... lol
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely evil butterflies.
DeleteI loved The Jane Austen Book Club, it just seemed strange to me that The Prince was the one begging to watch it because he's already seen it and LOVED IT.
Do dragon's typically have good dental hygiene?
ReplyDeleteDo unicorns poop rainbows?
DeleteOBVIOUSLY. :)
I just love you and your hilarity. TRIM THE FREAKING WICK! How hard is it?! Candles are ruined because of this problem! Srsly.
ReplyDeleteAND HEARING ME PEE?! NONONONOONOOOOOO! Hate. Nervous bladder.
When Evan has stinky breath I say "when did ya eat the opossum?" bahahaha
I know, why do guys think that candles are just no-maintenance!
DeleteUgh, the pee sounds being heard. Terrifying.
hahahaha "when did ya eat the opossum".... brilliant, Larrisa, brilliant.
Sounds like you've had definitely an eventful week. Friday is almost here :)
ReplyDeleteamen to that.
DeleteHaha, I love that you call him Kitten. I did that to my husband as well and now we just have the same nicknames for each other. Very funny blog :)
ReplyDeleteYeah! That's kind of what's happening to us... we call each other Kitten now. Weirdness!
DeleteI think I live on an ant hill. ;( I am pretty sure about it.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear that. May I suggest some fire?
Deletehahahahaha. texts about poop are my favorite!
ReplyDeleteI like you.
Deleteshe could text you about poop all day, just trust me. It's only fitting when I read that that I instantly thought of her and BAM, ya'll have found each other already.
Deletehahaah, this is amazing. It's like the poop patrol.
DeleteI like to call what I have an "irrational fear" of moths. As in, I know it is not rational to seize up when I know one is in the house and panic but I'm okay with how irrational it is - as long as the Mister takes care of it. Yes, they are evil butterflies - very well put.
ReplyDelete(I'm back). The Mister sends me poop texts too.
DeleteI do the same thing. I can't stand it when I open the door at night and forget to turn off the light.... MOTH INVASION. Totally scares the shit out of me.
DeleteWhat is it with dudes and poop texts? Sigh.
Oh you know, just sitting in my bed, giggling to myself. Blaming strange looks from my wife on you.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I may or may not have done number 8.
ahha. I like that you're giggling, Melissa, but that candle business? NO. Candles are precious fire machines and should be treated as such! :)
DeleteIt seems like you had an awesome, fun filled, hilarious week! I WANT YOUR LIFE, please!
ReplyDeletexoxo
and sometimes I want yours!
Delete"kill it with fire" OHMYGOD story of my childhood!
ReplyDeletehahaa, yes!
DeleteI have to Trans-Canada it with two dogs. Can't say I am looking forward to it.
ReplyDeleteYou know, with that THING happening.
Also? Amen to the no meat section. Seriously!
Oooh yeah, doing that drive with 2 dogs will be quite a feat!
DeleteAND BAD THINGS, TERRIBLY BAD.
I love the no-meat section. It's like my stomping grounds.
9) is definitely my favourite. Ha! xx
ReplyDeleteIt might be my favourite, too :)
Delete