You're smart cookies, you people.
I don't have a cat here in Kelowna, but the "family cat" that lives with my parents back home in Ontario is pretty much mine. She's getting older now and also loves to be outside all the time so she's stayed with my parents her entire life.
|This is the only picture I have of her. Honestly.|
Last night when I was on the phone with my mom, she was telling me how she'd spent part of the day snuggling with Patches, my cat, who only wants attention when she murders mice or birds and feels the need to be praised.
Patches killed a bird yesterday, so she was looking for her reward. When I said something like "Ew, tell her to stop slaughtering birds", The Prince shot me a funny look from across the room.
When I got off the phone, this happened:
The Prince: "Did your parents get a new cat?"
Me: "No? We were talking about Patches."
The Prince: "Haha, nice try, that cat died a long time ago."
The Prince: "Yeah, when we were at your parents' house for Christmas, I remember you asking your dad how Patches was, and he told you she was dead. Then you asked your brother, and he said she was dead too. I thought it was weird that you didn't get all hysterical and cry but I didn't say anything because you appeared to be fine with her passing."
Me: "Oh sweet sugar. You are SO dumb. Sweetie, my dad and my brother have been telling me that my cat was dead since the first time I moved away from home for university. They think it's funny because they're shitheads."
The Prince: "You mean every time you called home while you were away and asked about your cat they told you she was DEAD?"
Me: "Yes. I'm not even kidding. Every time. Any they still do it because they think they're hilarious. I'm glad you see the underlying cruelty."
The Prince: "What underlying cruelty? THAT IS FREAKING AWESOME. Your dad and your brother are the best, I seriously can't wait to get home and see them. Oh, and speaking of people who think they're hilarious... ahem... YOU?"
Me: Whatever. I am hilarious, but I wouldn't joke about someone's beloved childhood cat being DEAD. It's not going to be so funny when she ACTUALLY DIES, is it?"
The Prince: "It probably will be. I can see it now. You'll be all, 'Hey, how's my cat?' and your dad will be like 'She's dead' and when you're like 'Ha, very funny' your brother will reply with 'No, for real this time' and then no one will be sad because HILARIOUSNESS."
Me: "Get out. Get out of this room."