You're smart cookies, you people.
I don't have a cat here in Kelowna, but the "family cat" that lives with my parents back home in Ontario is pretty much mine. She's getting older now and also loves to be outside all the time so she's stayed with my parents her entire life.
 |
| This is the only picture I have of her. Honestly. |
Last night when I was on the phone with my mom, she was telling me how she'd spent part of the day snuggling with Patches, my cat, who only wants attention when she murders mice or birds and feels the need to be praised.
Patches killed a bird yesterday, so she was looking for her reward. When I said something like "Ew, tell her to stop slaughtering birds", The Prince shot me a funny look from across the room.
When I got off the phone, this happened:
The Prince: "Did your parents get a new cat?"
Me: "No? We were talking about Patches."
The Prince: "Haha, nice try, that cat died a long time ago."
Me: "WHAT?!?!"
The Prince: "Yeah, when we were at your parents' house for Christmas, I remember you asking your dad how Patches was, and he told you she was dead. Then you asked your brother, and he said she was dead too. I thought it was weird that you didn't get all hysterical and cry but I didn't say anything because you appeared to be fine with her passing."
Me: "Oh sweet sugar. You are SO dumb. Sweetie, my dad and my brother have been telling me that my cat was dead since the first time I moved away from home for university. They think it's funny because they're shitheads."
The Prince: "You mean every time you called home while you were away and asked about your cat they told you she was DEAD?"
Me: "Yes. I'm not even kidding. Every time. Any they still do it because they think they're hilarious. I'm glad you see the underlying cruelty."
The Prince: "What underlying cruelty? THAT IS FREAKING AWESOME. Your dad and your brother are the best, I seriously can't wait to get home and see them. Oh, and speaking of people who think they're hilarious... ahem... YOU?"
Me: Whatever. I am hilarious, but I wouldn't joke about someone's beloved childhood cat being DEAD. It's not going to be so funny when she ACTUALLY DIES, is it?"
The Prince: "It probably will be. I can see it now. You'll be all, 'Hey, how's my cat?' and your dad will be like 'She's dead' and when you're like 'Ha, very funny' your brother will reply with 'No, for real this time' and then no one will be sad because HILARIOUSNESS."
Me: "Get out. Get out of this room."
Regards,
I would never have guessed you to have a murderous cat. It's all fun and games until the cat really does die. What a catch 22. Hahahaha, until it takes them a week of trying to convince you it's true. I see this going horribly wrong in a sad, yet hysterical way.
ReplyDeleteI'll probably blog about it.
Deleteyou weren't kidding about the poop thing, huh? you weren't. you were'nt.
ReplyDeletei hate cats. they make my eyes swell shut, i'm glad the one that you have/don't have/kind of have/technically have isn't dead.
I don't kid about poop.
DeleteThanks for the sentiment, haha.
This is hilariously mean!
ReplyDeleteYep, that's my family for you.
DeleteI guess you come by your meanness/hilarity naturally, huh? Too funny!!
ReplyDeleteI guess so! Glad you think it's funny, Robin.
DeleteYou have some seriously messed up people around you. It is a good job you are so funny and good natured that you can bat away their ridiculousness with your wit.
ReplyDeleteLove Elle xo
haha, yeah, and it's the worst when they're related.
DeleteMy dad played an April Fool's joke on me when I was like 8 and said that our cat was on top of our van and he fell off as we drove to CHURCH! WHAT???? How is that funny AT ALL?????? Poor guy, I held a grudge for a long, long time. Luckily my dad is one of my best friends now...time heals all wounds, I guess. :)
ReplyDeletexoxo
Ohhhhh that is so mean! You were way too young for that joke!
DeleteGlad you've forgiven him, haha.
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry but that really is hilarious.
I'm glad you think so.
DeleteFantastic post, thank you!
ReplyDeleteThanks.
DeleteOh, and he is amazingly beautiful!
ReplyDelete*she, but thank you :)
Deletehaha you are hilarious the prince has that right! Good to read that your cat isn't dead. Patches is a beaut.
ReplyDeletehaahah, yeah, he sometimes knows what he's talking about ;)
DeleteSo the fact that they you your cat is dead is not funny but that conversation is. How mean! That is something my husbands brothers would do. Ok, It's a little funny...
ReplyDeleteyep... just a little ;)
DeleteGuys are clueless when it comes to so many things.... Your cat is adorable.
ReplyDeletevery, very true. Thanks, I think so too!
DeleteMe: "Oh sweet sugar. You are SO dumb. Sweetie, my dad and my brother have been telling me that my cat was dead since the first time I moved away from home for university. They think it's funny because they're shitheads."
ReplyDeleteand now I will go to bed feeling so good.
yayyyyy :)
DeleteMy dad kept telling me my fish was dead. Then I had the fish at school and left him with a friend's room mate for the weekend. When I got back to school, the fish was covered in decay. Bitch killed my fish.
ReplyDeleteTrue story.
WHAT.
DeleteUnacceptable. I would have freeeeaakkkkkked.
The Management. You could have your own tv show with this material haha. Nothing like a helpful sentimental other half to reassure you about the seriousness of your pet's death. xx
ReplyDeleteI want my own tv show. I think I might start lobbying for one.
Delete