So then I had to tell him this story, which I had originally intended to take to my grave:
"Well, I got in the shower yesterday morning, and I had a fresh washcloth in my hand. Then I noticed the previous day's washcloth hanging in the way, so I chucked it out of the shower, figuring it would land on the floor so I could toss it in the laundry later."
"How'd that go?" asked The Prince, obviously seeing where this was going.
"It didn't land on the floor," I said.
"No? It didn't?"
"No. It landed in the toilet."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. I scrambled out of the shower, only that took quite a bit of time because you STILL haven't fixed the shower door, so by the time I got to the washcloth, it was almost entirely drowned in toilet water, save for one last little corner."
"So let me guess what happened next. You grabbed that corner, screamed a little, threw it in the garbage and then dashed back to the shower to disinfect your hand."
"Yeah. I wasn't sure if you heard the scream part because you were still sleeping."
"Oh, I heard it."
"I thought about just flushing it down, but I don't think that would have worked out very well."
"No. Probably not."
"Yeah. So I did the right thing."
"But did you learn anything from this? Like to stop throwing your damn washcloths out of the shower like an animal?"
"I could lie to you, but, honestly, no."
"Are you kidding me?"
"No. I like to live on the edge. If that means some washcloth bitches have to die, so be it."
"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU THIS WEEK? EVERYTHING YOU DO IS DRIVING ME INSANE!"
"That's called karma, motherfucker."
Happy Friday,
Love it! I am so glad I found you, love your writing. You crack me up!!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you found me too. I'm like a lost puppy when I don't get enough internet attention ;)
DeleteI literally was just laughing out loud! Love it! I would have probably tried to flush it and ended up with a flooded bathroom! ;)
ReplyDeleteIt was my first impulse, somehow I stopped myself.
DeleteBahahahaha! Again, I piss my pants.
ReplyDeleteand again, I smile :)
DeleteYour courage (in getting the washcloth out of the toilet) is awe-inspiring. You are my hero. :D
ReplyDeleteThank you for recognizing this.
DeleteI want to be a fly, make that a spider, flies are dirty, and live on your wall to see all of these shenanigans in person!
ReplyDeleteYou can come watch, but you can't be a spider. Spiders don't survive long around me, and I wouldn't want to hurt you.
DeleteI think you need a reality show.
ReplyDeleteno, I know you need a reality show.
DeleteI know, right? Where are those people who hunt for TV ideas?
DeleteLOL! Thank you, I needed a laugh today?
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome!
Deletebahahahahahaha. I made it through the entire post without laughing...until I got to the last line. lol. I dropped a scrunchie in the toilet once...I flushed it. See ya later scrunchie! lol
ReplyDeleteahhaaha. Yeah, a scrunchie.... I would have flushed that.
Deletebahahahaha this sounds seriously like a conversation my husband and I would have. I would have done the exact same thing!
ReplyDeleteBecause you're brilliant, obviously.
DeleteThat is funny! I hate those weeks when everything your other does just irritates you!
ReplyDeleteMeeeee toooo.
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