1) The seven other women I was with at the bar ordered Bellissimas or Sangria. I ordered vodka and water.
2) The oldest lady there slid down a long bench-style seat to sit next to me "So that the old and young could be close together". When she finally got shimmied all the way down to where I was, she whispered "I think I burnt my bum!"
3) Most of these ladies are co-workers of mine, so we talked a lot about the guys at our workplace. When I declared that "Yeah, most of them are huge creepers" two of the grandmas at the table almost pissed themselves.
4) There was a lengthy discussion about babies and grand-babies, complete with phones being passed around the table so we could all watch videos of said babies. I passed on that and instead ordered more vodka.
5) All eight of us went to see the Magic Mike stripper movie. Awkward.
6) These ladies turned out to be the kind of ladies that went all "woo" when one of the strippers on screen got naked. I slouched in my theatre seat and wished desperately for it to end.
7) The Prince sent me a text to see if I was having fun. My reply: "Kind of, but I think that's the vodka talking."
8) Some of the ladies told raunchy stories about their own experiences with male strippers while in earshot of an entire family with small children. I sat quietly and listened to them say things like "AND THEY USE THESE WEIRD THINGS TO KEEP THEIR DICKS HARD."
9) One of the ladies admitted that she hadn't been on a date in a VERY long time. I told her not to worry because I could set her up on Plenty of Fish first thing Monday morning. She proceeded to stare at me in absolute horror.
10) When I finally made it home, I drank more vodka.
Here's to Monday,
But that's the vodka talking. Hahaha sounds epic! I cannot believe you didnt die of embarrassment at that movie with old ladies! I would have. I would probably have a sun burn from all the blushing i would do. Anyway. How is it? I heard its pretty good.
ReplyDeleteOh, Larissa, I was within an inch of death by embarrassment, I'm sure.
DeleteThe movie was not what I was expecting- there's a very serious story intertwined with all the stripping. It was okay, would probably watch it again if it was on TV (that's how I rank movies).
Sounds like an very interesting evening and a very interesting group of ladies!
ReplyDeleteSunny Days and Starry Nights
haha, you've got that right!
DeleteOH pass the vodka! hah I work with a bunch of old ladies too and we often talk about going out for margaritas. One of them is in a wheel chair though and it is really hard to get her in and out of the car. I can only imagine how that transfer would go with a few drinks in us. Its funny how funny old people find semi-funny things like "most of them are huge creepers".
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you mean. They had never heard the word "creeper" before!
Delete"4) There was a lengthy discussion about babies and grand-babies, complete with phones being passed around the table so we could all watch videos of said babies. I passed on that and instead ordered more vodka."
ReplyDeleteHahahhahahahahhaha that would be me too
"5) All eight of us went to see the Magic Mike stripper movie. Awkward."
Ew! And the comment about dicks hard! yuck! What a night.
yeah, vodka was definitely my saving grace.
DeleteAnd yeah.. the stripper stories... NOPE.
haha. them going "woooo" is cracking me up. I would have slouched too.
ReplyDeleteslouched into the CEMENT FLOOR, I swear.
DeleteI totally think I could have been part of the "old ladies" crew. How old were these old ladies? 30? I think I would yell "ow! ow!" or "yea baby" during the movie. I haven't seen it yet because I am the old lady who is frantically reading through all of the 50 Shades book.
ReplyDeleteThey're much older than 30. The median age of this ladies night was at least 45, and I'm 23, so that's sayin' something.
DeleteSounds like an older version of my friends. You need to swing down to the states and I'll show you the younger more embarrassing version of ladies' night out.
ReplyDeleteoh gosh, I trust you would.
DeleteHey friend, I nominated you for the Liebster blog award! Check it out hereee:
ReplyDeletehttp://asmallpieceofgodsplan.blogspot.com/2012/07/liebster-award.html
thanks superstar!
DeleteLOL I'm cracking up because I work with a bunch of older ladies too (who are all awesome and sweet and cute and) but man do I like to point out at times that they ACT old and SAY old things! But then again I'm glad you pointed out in the comments that their median age was 43, because after I was done laughing I kinda wondered if they were my age :D
ReplyDeletehaha, too funny. Love this.
DeleteWow, sounds like quite the night! lol
ReplyDeleteOh yes, it was.
DeleteIn tears laughing over here. Thanks so much.....I so needed this.
ReplyDeleteYou're so welcome, Cait! I've missed you over here!
DeleteI probably would have fit right in with the older ladies. I did refrain from yelling "woo" or "ow, ow" outloud, but I sure did lean over and say it to my boyfriend haha He was kind enough to go with me when none of my friends wanted to see it, but by the time it was over, I think he was regretting it lol
ReplyDeletehahaha, so funny. I don't think I could have convinced The Prince to go with me. Good work.
DeleteHahahahah oldies out on the town are intense. I learnt that the hard way when I was newly 18 though, tried to keep up with shot rounds at a work party. I ended up passed out in the bathroom of the pub and my old school bus driver had to carry me home. Vomit-city.
ReplyDeleteVodka and water, ew. Who do you think you are, Sylvia Plath!?
ahahah your old school bus driver? Amazing.
DeleteAnd no, I just actually like the taste of vodka, water and lime... and it doesn't give me hives so that's a win!
Thank God for Vodka! lmao!!
ReplyDeleteA-men.
DeleteHahaha # 10, best (and most hilarious) part!!! Sounds like an entertaining yet Slightly awkward Night!!
ReplyDeleteYou're right about both of those things!
Delete