Thursday, June 28, 2012

And then I cried until The Prince agreed to stay home from work and hold me

Things I said yesterday when I was hysterically sad and anxious:

"It's not even 8am and I'm crying. I want to fly home. Now. On the next flight. I hate Kelowna and its stupid mountains. Maybe. I don't know. Maybe I love it here and I just can't tell. What if I get home and then everything is even WORSE?"

"WHY IS IT ALWAYS FUCKING RAINING?!"

"There's a huge knot in my hair and I'm so upset about it I might just cut out this whole chunk."

"I'm sorry, my day has been taken over by anxiety, I really don't think I can make it in to work. I'll see you tomorrow."

"I took a personality test last week. Guess how extroverted I am. ONE HUNDRED PERCENT. I am one hundred percent extroverted. THAT'S why I can't just keep my feelings in, they need to escape."

"These are high-waisted leggings. You know why I love them? Because they hold my fat in. Today, though, I'm pretty sure they're trying to cut me. In half."

"Please stop trying to throw blueberries down my shirt. It's not making me feel any better."

"I'm going to quit. I'm just going to quit my job and go back to being a bartender. I think that getting other people drunk is my true calling. HOW SAD IS THAT?"

"I want to go for a walk because I haven't been outside all day but I honestly can't handle pants right now. Come cuddle me." 

"Why are there no carbs? Seriously, why? OH WAIT I KNOW, BECAUSE I WILL EAT THEM ALL IN A FIT OF DESPERATION."

"I tried to fix my feet. I tried to soak them in Epsom salt and then do the scrubbie thing and I got one foot done but I'm too exhausted to do the other one. Can you please just scrub my other foot? It's making me so sad that now one of them is all nice and smooth and the other one is scaly and disgusting. I'm a monster."

I made it to work today, so that's something,




16 comments:

  1. I know the anxiety issues are serious and I know you have your triggers, but dude, when you melt down, at least you say some funny shit! That's another something.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I work pretty hard at making other people laugh at all times, what can I say.

      Delete
  2. I agree with Jen....anxiety is terrible and I had when I have an anxiety or panic attack, but if you can look back at them and get a giggle out of a little part of it, that's good! Hope things are looking up. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah. I am fully aware of how ridiculous I'm being when I get like this, haha.

      Delete
  3. I had a bout of depression/anxiety that lasted 3 days last month. It's awful! Thank you for sharing your pain so that we can all laugh about it in hindsight! That's the best, isn't it?! :D

    ReplyDelete
  4. Poor thang. I know how it is to get one foot all scrubbed and shiny and sweet smelling and then completely run out of energy for the other one. :( Did he do it?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. he didn't, but only because it was 1am, haha.

      Delete
  5. Sorry honey. Just know that a lot of people have those days. You're definitely not alone.

    Also, I ALMOST published this comment with "honey" spelled as "hiney."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for sharing your hilarious error :)

      Delete
  6. Oh boy, I'm pretty sure I have said about half of these things. Especially the high legging fat holders that CUT you in half. For real, eat too much and you'll get a damn mark on your belly.

    Hang in there girly, there's always a new day!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I knowww, they suuccck sometimes! Comfy clothing should not have cutting power!

      Delete
  7. You DON'T want to know Ontario is having the most glorious summer. Hot, sunny, well maybe too hot. Sorry. You'll see when you come. You'll have to just pack up as much sunshine as you can in your car and bring it back out West. That's all....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I DO know that Ontario is having the best summer ever. Everyone from home keeps taunting us... sigghhhh.

      Seriously can't wait to be home for a bit!

      Delete

Thanks for commenting, lovely human.