When I’m in the right mood, I tend to go a little crazy with cleaning. I mean I scrubbed every inch of our bathroom, re-organized every shelf and surface we own and pretty much used The Prince as my kitchen slave: “WHY AREN’T YOU WASHING DISHES I GAVE YOU ONE JOB SERIOUSLY WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM I BET I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR IT.”
By far the funniest part (for you) and the most angering part (for me) of yesterday was the point at which I found myself arm-deep in toilet, scrubbing and disinfecting.
So, mid toilet-scrub, I looked up and over at the bathroom vanity I had just cleaned. And on that vanity there was a boyfriend, MY boyfriend, sitting on the edge of the sink, gnawing on a piece of beef jerky.
|I added the text, original picture [via]|
Allow me to share with you the varied ways in which I found this to be brazenly inappropriate.
First of all, when I asked him to get his ass off of the vanity, he told me that his sweat pants were, in fact, drying it for me. He was apparently “helping”.
Second of all: beef jerky. Disgusting on all fronts, amirite?
When I asked him what part of him sitting on his ass eating beef jerky and watching me clean the porcelain throne was helpful to me in any way, he shrugged and ate more beef jerky.
He then proceeded to whine about how he was tired of washing the dishes because we own so many mason jars and they are not fun to clean.
To which I was all “Fun to clean? Come here, boy, give me your hand. Let me show you how fun it is to clean a toilet.”
When he eventually did go back to washing the dishes, he only did so for a short while. He came and found me in our room where I was vacuuming and asked me if we could “take a break”.
I referenced his earlier beef jerky break. I was told that it was not an “official” break re: he dried part of the vanity with his bum.
Turns out an “official” break means splitting an energy drink and eating popcorn from two separate bowls because we are five years old and don’t know how to share treats.
The rest of the day contained a lot of “No, get away from me. You do not get a kiss. I am trying to arrange the board games by size but also in a way that staggers the different colours of the boxes in an artistic fashion. I do not have time for your bullshit right now.”
Does anything in this post remind you of anyone you know? Share with the team.
Yours with a very pretty apartment,