The Prince and I recently made a salad of the broccoli variety after discovering that both of us love broccoli and want to eat it for dinner every single night.
I was busy washing grapes while The Prince cut up the broccoli into GIANT pieces that no person would want to eat as just one bite. They obviously needed to be halved and then halved once more.
Needless to say, I complained about the robust florets of broccoli. I was all:
"You need to cut those twice more, they are way too big. You make salad like my dad."
The Prince: "And how, exactly, does your dad make salad?"
Me: "He grabs a tomato, chops it in half and throws it in a bowl. He takes a bunch of lettuce and maybe cuts it once. If he's feeling fancy, you might get hunks of cheese thrown on top. Oh, and it always comes with French dressing. No idea why. He'll present you with this bowl of halved veggies and be all 'I made you a salad!' but that is a lie. Veggies cut in half and placed in a bowl does not a salad make."
The Prince: "I think that counts as a salad."
Me: "It's not a salad if you have to slice it like a steak."
The Prince: "Yeah it is. It's like a rustic salad."
Me: "I'm pretty sure you're stupid."