Yesterday a sweet lady that I work with brought freshly baked (as in freshly baked right before she left for work so we’re talking still warm upon arrival) cookies to the office and placed them on a vacant ledge right by my desk.
My issues with this included, but were not limited to:
1) I really couldn’t have one- The Prince had packed me a great, healthy lunch as part of my new plan to not binge eat all the damn time. Eating a cookie would have thrown off my whole day.
2) There were two kinds of cookies begging me to eat them. Peanut butter AND oatmeal raisin.
3) I could smell them, and it was killing me
4) Because I was so close to the cookie container, anyone who came by my desk was all “OOOOH cookies! Did you make these? Can I have one? Did you have one yet?” This meant that even if I did manage to take my mind off the cookies temporarily, I had people constantly reminding me that OH YEAH, COOKIES.
5) People kept picking up cookies and then standing in front of my desk chatting me up whilst eating said cookies. In my face. “Oh man these are good, you really should try one.”
6) Just now, as I’ve been writing this, a co-worker did a re-run of #5, which not only ticked me off, but also brought to my attention that THE COOKIES ARE STILL HERE and so begins day two of my suffering.
7) The Prince sincerely tried to get me to eat oatmeal for breakfast, and he packed me a container of raisins for a snack at work. I cannot help but feel that he’s trying to subliminally satisfy my cravings for oatmeal raisin COOKIES by making me eat oatmeal and raisins. I’mma killz him when I get home.