And Here's How You Get a Coffee Table for Free

Yep, we've I've done it again.

How to get a coffee table for free:

1) When at work, talk about how you have very little furniture.
2) Accept offer from nice lady to take her old coffee table for free.
3) Realize this requires a vehicle and start scheming ways to get yourself a car, preferably for free.
4) Make nice with someone in power at your place of employment.
5) Be all "We would have a coffee table if we had a car to go pick it up..."
6) Take free car.
7) Go pick up free coffee table.
8) Eat lunch off your free coffee table like a freaking boss.
9) Return car with definitely less fuel than was in it when you picked it up.
10) Hahahahahaha.